monday morning mayhem...

this week's mayhem was difficult. i got so much from friends and found so much in my reading, i had to pick and chose. at least there'll be more for the future.

for those of you who may have gotten the day off for Columbus/Explorer's Day, enjoy less mayhem...


1. mad wife disease...

A guy was sitting quietly reading his paper when his wife walked up behind him and whacked him on the head with a magazine.

'What was that for?' he asked.

'That was for the piece of paper in your pants pocket with the name Laura Lou written on it,' she replied.

'Two weeks ago when I went to the races, Laura Lou was the name of one of the horses I bet on,' he explained.

'Oh honey, I'm sorry,' she said. 'I should have known there was a good explanation '

Three days later he was watching a ball game on TV when she walked up and hit him in the head again, this time with the iron skillet, which knocked him out cold.

When he came to, he asked, 'What the hell was that for?'

She replied... 'Your horse just called.'

2. aging again...







3. how happy can one be?

A woman in her forty's is at home, unclothed, happily jumping on her bed and squealing with delight.

Her husband watches her for a while and asks, "Do you have any idea how ridiculous you look? What's the matter with you?"

The woman continues to bounce on the bed and says, "I don't care what you think. I just came from having a mammogram, and the doctor says that not only am I healthy, but I have the breasts of an 18 year-old.

The husband replies, "What did he say about your 43-year old ass?"

"Your name never came up," she replied.

4. "I No Come Work Today!"...

Hung Chow calls into work and says, "Hey, I no come work today, I sick, headache, stomach ache, legs hurt, I no come work."

The boss says, "You know something, Hung Chow, I really need you today. When I feel like that, I go to my wife and tell her to give me sex. That makes everything better and I go to work. You try that."

Two hours later Hung Chow calls again. "I do what you say, I feel great. I be work soon..... you got nice house."

___o
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