weekender...

setting a secure password...

During a recent password audit, it was found that a blonde was using the following password:

"MickeyMinniePlutoHueyLouieDeweyDonaldGoofySacramento"

When asked why she had such a long password, she said,

'Duh! I was told that it had to be at least 8 characters long and include at least one capital!'


i know, i know. another blonde joke, but i haven't done one in a while; actually i haven't done any jokes in a while...

weekender...

WARNING: gratuitous blonde joke...



During a recent password audit at a company, it was found that a blonde receptionist was using the following password:

"MickeyMinniePlutoHueyLouieDeweyDonaldGoofySacramento"

When asked why she had such a long password, she said she was told that it had to be at least 8 characters long and include at least one capital.

monday morning mayhem...

ummmm, just watch this...











be careful skydiving...


A Blonde is watching the news with her husband when the newscaster says "Two Brazilian men die in a skydiving accident."

The blonde starts crying to her husband, sobbing "That's horrible!!! So many men dying that way!"

Confused, he says, "Yes dear, it is sad, but they were skydiving, and there is always that risk involved."

After a few minutes, the blonde, still sobbing, says, "How many is a brazilian?"





with spring right around the corner...


it's time to start thinking about your garden. here are some questions about one choice from Allisonville Nursery in Indiana you could plant - not sure if plant is the right word to use though...


Do they bloom???

I wonder if they come in different colors?

I wonder about the fragrance?

I wonder if it would help to put those preservative packets in the water?

I wonder if they bloom?

I wonder whether they would look better on the kitchen table or in the entry?

I wonder if they're cheaper by the dozen?

I wonder if they come in long-stemmed?

I wonder if they bloom?







any more questions?

monday morning mayhem...

sick leave...

I urgently needed a few days off work, but I knew the Boss would not allow me to take leave.

I thought that maybe if I acted 'Crazy' then he would tell me to take a few days off.

So, I hung upside-down on the ceiling and made funny noises. My co-worker (who's blonde) asked me what I was doing.

I told her that I was pretending to be a light bulb, so that the Boss might think I was 'Crazy' and give me a few days off.

A few minutes later the Boss came into the office and asked, 'What in the world are you doing? ' I told him I was a light bulb.

He said, 'You are clearly stressed out. Go home and recuperate for a couple of days.' I jumped down and walked out of the office...

When my co-worker (the blonde) followed me, the Boss asked her, 'And where do you think you're going?!'



(You're gonna love this....)



She said,.... "I'm going home too. You know darn well -- I can't possibly work in the dark!"


important life provoking thoughts...


I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die of natural causes.

Never take life seriously; Nobody gets out alive anyway.

Life is sexually transmitted.

Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?"

Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken there? I'm gonna eat the next thing that comes outta its butt.

If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?

Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?


there will be a quiz on Friday...


bonus question...

and...

we'll say have a good week with a Maxine classic...

monday morning mayhem...

a late morning addition that i just couldn't pass up.

of course it's a blonde joke...


During a recent company password audit, it was found that a blonde was using the following password:

MickeyMinniePlutoHueyLouieDeweyDonaldGoofy

When asked why such a big password, she said, "Duh, it has to be at least 8 characters long...."

gratuitous blonde joke...

haven't had one in a long time. this one was worth the wait.


One hot summer day, a blonde came to town with her dog, tied it under the shade of a tree, and headed into a restaurant for something cold to drink...

Twenty minutes later, a policeman entered the restaurant and asked, 'Who owns the dog tied under that tree outside?'

The blonde said it was hers.

'Your dog seems to be in heat,' the officer said.

The blonde replied, 'No way. She's cool 'cause she's tied up under that shade tree.'

The policeman said, 'No! You don't understand.. Your dog needs to be bred.'

'No way,' said the blonde. 'My dog doesn't need bread. She isn't hungry 'cause I fed her this mornin.'

The exasperated policeman said, 'NO! You don't understand. Your dog wants to have sex!'

(You gotta love this)

The blonde looked at the cop and said, 'Well, go ahead. I always wanted a
police dog!'




you just knew who would get excited about this one...

monday morning mayhem...

IF MY BODY WERE A CAR...

If my body were a car, this is the time I would be thinking about trading it in for a newer model. I've got bumps and dents and scratches in my finish and my paint job is getting a little dull ... But that's not the worst of it.

My headlights are out of focus and it's especially hard to see things up close.

My traction is not as graceful as it once was. I slip and slide and skid and bump into things even in the best of weather.

My whitewalls are stained with varicose veins.

It takes me hours to reach my maximum speed. My fuel rate burns inefficiently.

But here's the worst of it --



Almost every time I sneeze, cough or laugh.....
either my radiator leaks or my exhaust backfires.


it sucks to feel that way on a Monday...


i suppose it could be worse -

AT THE DOCTOR'S OFFICE

A gorgeous young redhead goes into the doctor's office and said that her body hurt wherever she touched it.

"Impossible!" says the doctor. "Show me."

The redhead took her finger, pushed on her left breast and screamed, then she pushed her elbow and screamed even more. She pushed her knee and screamed; likewise she pushed her ankle and screamed. Everywhere she touched made her scream.

The doctor said, "You're not really a redhead, are you?

"Well, no," she said. "I'm actually a blonde."

"I thought so! " the doctor said. "Your finger is broken."



shameless, Maxx, shameless...

weekender...

gratuitous blond joke...

is there any other kind?


A business man got on an elevator. When he entered, there was a blonde already inside who greeted him with a bright, 'T-G-I-F.'

He smiled at her and replied, 'S-H-I-T.'

She looked puzzled and repeated, 'T-G-I-F,' more slowly.

He again answered, 'S-H-I-T.'

The blonde was trying to keep it friendly, so she smiled her biggest smile and said as sweetly as possible, 'T-G-I-F.'

The man smiled back to her and once again, 'S-H-I-T.'

The exasperated blonde finally decided to explain.... 'T-G-I-F' means 'Thank Goodness It's Friday.' Get it, Duuhhh?'

The man answered, ''S-H-I-T' means......
'Sorry, Honey, It's Thursday -- Duuhhh!'



no... it really is "T.G.I.F." today...

everybody have a glass of gin!

now THIS just may be the best blond joke of the year...

A blonde calls her boyfriend and says, 'Please come over here and help me. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out how to get started'

Her boyfriend asks, 'What is it supposed to be when it's finished?'

The blonde says, 'According to the picture on the box, it's a rooster.'

Her boyfriend decides to go over and help with the puzzle.

She lets him in and shows him where she has the puz zle spread all over the table.

He studies the pieces for a moment, then looks at the box, then turns to her and says,

'First of all, no matter what we do, we're not going to be able to
assemble these pieces into anything resembling a rooster.'

He takes her hand and says, 'Second, I want you to relax. Let's have a nice cup of tea, and then ...' he said with a deep sigh, . .. . .. . .

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'Let's put all the Corn Flakes back in the box.'




maybe i should start a voting contest to determine the one i've posted is the best this year. i gotta think about it...