29 August 2008


in honor of labor...

Bubba and Ray, mechanical engineers were standing at the base of a flagpole, looking up.

A woman walked by and asked what they were doing.

'We're supposed to find the height of the flagpole,' said Bubba, 'but we don't have a ladder.

The woman took a wrench from her purse, loosened a few bolts, and laid the pole down. Then she took a tape measure from her pocket, took a measurement, and announced, 'Eighteen feet, six inches,' and walked away.

Ray shook his head and laughed, 'Ain't that just like a woman! We ask for the height and she gives us the length!'

Bubba and Ray are currently working for the government, supervising the reconstruction of New Orleans.

three days away from labor for most of you. enjoy. have a glass of gin...

27 August 2008

can't someone tell Tweety to STFU?

It's been excruciating to watch MSNBC during the actual convention coverage because of Chris Matthews. He speaks over everyone, including people on the podium that are being covered; he makes inane comments; and he makes Keith Olbermann show faces that border or WTF is he saying almost out of embarrassment.

I guess, maybe, it's because Tweety thinks he wants to run for the Senate himself. [If there is a god, s/he better put the kabosh on it.]

David Mixner posted what may be some proof:
Now MSNBC's Chris Matthews just can't keep quiet. With the rumors swirling that he wants to run for Senate in Pennsylvania, Queerty.com reports this exchange happened between Matthews and publisher Mark Segal from the Philadelphia Gay News when he asked Matthews about marriage equality. When caught off guard, Matthews talked about freedom but didn't answer the question. When the reporter pressed, this very testy exchange occurred:

Segal: Well, where are you on the issue?
Matthews: I have an open heart. I’ll have to live with it.
Segal: In other words, you won’t answer the question.
Matthews: I can answer it the way I have, which is any fucking way I want. I can answer in my way even if it isn’t your way.

and people wonder why i stopped doing posts on this election. it's populated by idiots!

25 August 2008

monday morning mayhem...

sounds about right to me...

This is a true story, proving how fascinating the mind of a six year old is. They think so logically.

A teacher was reading the story of the Three Little Pigs to her class.

She came to the part of the story where first pig was trying to gather the building materials for his home. She read. 'and so the pig went up to the man with the wheelbarrow full of straw and said: 'Pardon me sir, but may I have some of that straw to build my house?'

The teacher paused then asked the class, 'And what do you think the man said?

One little boy raised his hand and said very matter-of-factly...'I think the man would have said - 'Well, I'll be damned!! A talking pig!'

The teacher had to leave the room.

why men shouldn't take phone messages...

Male Message.jpg

oh, my god...

A mortician was working late one night.

He examined the body of Mr. Schwartz, about to be cremated, and made a startling discovery. Schwartz had the largest private part he had ever seen!

'I'm sorry Mr. Schwartz,' the mortician commented, 'I can't allow you to be cremated with such an impressive private part. It must be saved for posterity.

So, he removed it, stuffed it into his briefcase, and took it home.

I have to show you something you won't believe,' he said to his wife, opening his briefcase.

'My God!' the wife screamed, 'Schwartz is dead?!?!'

keep your schwartz alive...

just think... next week is a three day weekend. that should make this week go faster.

22 August 2008

the reality...

i know i've been going on and on about the BV [see, i'm not even going to write it all out] for the last few days and, if you've been following along, you probably have figured out why.

what the reality is that my lease was coming to an end and i needed to make a decision about what to do. i've looked at all kinds of cars, made all types of considerations in my head, and driven too many recently that it gets confusing.

in the end it came down to financials [i want to buy rather than lease this time] and what i know best.

i have been driving the Infiniti FX35 for three years now and had a G35 before that. they are unbelievably reliable cars. if the payoff on the lease wasn't more than what the FX is worth with the wonderful economy that Tsar George and Dick Rasputin have put us into, i would consider buying out the lease. actually i did consider it. as it is, that's not the best thing with the economy. if you've been reading the news, Chryseler has already decided to stop leasing and Ford, GM and Toyota are on the brink of announcing they may also. another reason to buy this time.

so, when taking everything into consideration, i decided the best thing was to pick a car that would be extremely dependable in the long run and may be a car i would decide to keep for the long run. with the standard warranty of 4 years or 60,000 miles and the extended 7 years or 100,000 miles, i choose to stay with Infiniti, only the smaller EX35.

here's the one i picked:

Infiniti EX35.jpg

the color is called Dark Currant and the interior will be in a Chestnut leather. it will take a few days for delivery because they have to ship it in from another dealer.

when i texted my godson about it, his response was


i agree...


An old preacher...

An old preacher was dying. He sent a message for his IRS agent and his Lawyer (both church members), to come to his home. When they arrived, they were ushered up to his bedroom.

As they entered the room, the preacher held out his hands and motioned for them to sit on each side of the bed. The preacher grasped their hands, sighed contentedly, smiled and stared at the ceiling.

For a time, no one said anything. Both the IRS agent and Lawyer were touched and flattered that the old preacher would ask them to be with him during his final moment.

They were also puzzled because the preacher had never given any indication that he particularly liked either one of them.

Finally, the Lawyer asked, "Preacher, why did you ask the two of us to come?"

The old preacher mustered up some strength, then said weakly, "Jesus died between two thieves, and that's how I want to go, too.

Satan Lawyer.jpg

if you do such things, watch your back...

21 August 2008

you have got to see this...

i realize that i tend to go on and on about the Bugatti Veyron. i am obsessed, i agree. i have always been obsessed with exotic cars. well, any car for that matter.

if you remember the first post i did on the Grand Sport a couple of days ago [Grand Sport debut], i mentioned that if you take the targa top off and leave it home the car comes with an umbrella if it starts to rain?

well..., it literally is an umbrella! below is a short video that autoblog.com posted of how you use it if you have to...

it really is an umbrella!!!

20 August 2008

what a $3.19 million auction looks like...

the first Bugatti Veryon Grand Sport sold for that amount. the actual price was $2.9 millions plus the auction fee and an amount to go to charity. you can read the entire story over at autoblog.com -

watch the actual auction below

oh, that wasn't the highest price paid at the auction. of course, it was for another Bugatti - a 1937 Bugatti Type 57SC Atalante Coupe for $7,920,000!

1937 Bugatti 57 SC Atalantejpg

you can check out the story of the entire auction at Anamera

19 August 2008

four Veyrons...

no waiting...


and it looks like the one in the back is a Pur Sang

i think i would have wet my pants if i had been there...

no, i know i would have

18 August 2008

monday morning mayhem...

A blonde goes into a coffee shop and notices there's

a 'peel and win' sticker on her coffee cup.

So she peels it off and starts screaming,

'I've won a motor home!

I've won a motor home!'

The waitress says, 'That's impossible.

The biggest prize is a free Lunch.?'

But the blonde keeps on screaming,

'I've won a motor home!

I've won a motor home!'

Finally, the manager comes over and says,

'Ma'am, I'm sorry, but you're mistaken.

You couldn't have possibly won a motor home

because we didn't have that as a prize.

The blonde says, 'No, it's not a mistake.

I've won a motor home!'

And she hands the ticket to the

manager and HE reads...


'W I N A B A G E L'


hope your week is a winner...

17 August 2008

election update...

but not what you might be expecting...

while i was writing the last post on the Grand Sport Bugatti Veyron, my eyes were caught by three little widgets on the side of the website:

2008 Election Countdown
: 79 days

The Official George W. Bush "Days Left in Office" Countdown
: 155 days 11 hours 5 minutes 59.6 seconds

Cost of the War in Iraq:
$546,169,702,441. [it's gone up since i typed that by several tens of thousands of dollars.]

does anyone really want to add 4 more years and $500 Billions of dollars to these counts?

the thought of McCain as president really does scare me...

Grand Sport debut...

The Bugatti Veyron 16.4 Grand Sport debuted yesterday in Monterrey. Though the Sang Noir is still my favorite [i recently saw one in person and couldn't pull myself away from it], this easily would be my second favorite. It's stunning. When you take the hard roof off, the speed is automatically limited to 80 mph. Other wise, it will top out at 224 mph with the roof on.

Oh, what happens if it starts to rain and the roof is at home? It has a little canvas roof that pops out like and "umbrella." Cost? $2.05 Millions. Remember though, every single piece of the car is hand-made. Read the entire story over at Autoblog.com.

Bugatti Veyron 16.4 Gran Sport.jpg

Bugatti Veyron Gran Sport Interior.jpg

of course i'm moist...

i have to tell you, though... i would settle for this without hesitation -

large di corvette sting ray del 1963.jpg
1963 Corvette Stingray
in silver

most fun driving i've ever done...

original cost: $4,037.00.

price of one recently sold: $79,995.00.

that's for a 45 year old car! the 2005 Infiniti FX35 that i'm currently driving barely cost half as much!

if you were competing in the Olympics...

what Olympic sport would you be?


You Are Archery

You are a bit of a traditionalist. You like old fashioned things with deep traditions.

You also like to see the result of your accomplishments right in front of you.

If practice makes perfect, that's fine by you. You like to practice a skill.

fits, though i probably would have preferred fencing a little bit more. it's so dashing; you get to wear funny clothes; and you get to the the heart of the matter...

soo? what Olympic sport are you?

15 August 2008


things to ponder over the weekend that just might make your outlook a little brighter...

Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them.

Don't take life too seriously; No one gets out alive

Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.

Stupidity is not a handicap. Park elsewhere!

The trouble with life is there's no background music.

I smile because I don't know what the hell is going on.

and finally...

Maxine's Solution.jpg

if you need to bend your elbow a little extra this weekend, do it...

14 August 2008

Beijing Olympics travel alerts...

The Chinese are really trying to become a vacation destination spot and the Olympics are giving them the perfect chance to show their, ummm, learning curve...

testes tinkle.jpg

dork and bamboo shoots.jpg

be nice...

they are really trying their best.

i would bet you've all had dork in your mouth at some point in your life. i know i have...

don't ask!

as far as the testes? mind your own business.

13 August 2008

with the state of politics today...

keep the words of President Harry S. Truman in mind...

'My choice early in life was either to be a piano player in a whorehouse or a politician. And to tell the truth, there's hardly any difference. I, for one, believe the piano player job to be much more honorable than current politicians.

what can i say?

what is wrong with this picture?

“Where there is enough evidence to charge someone with a crime, we vigorously prosecute,” he said. “But not every wrong, or even every violation of the law, is a crime.”
U.S. Attorney General Michael B. Mukasey,
August 12, 2008, New York Times.

His statement is in regards to the hiring scandal in his office under the previous AG, Alberto Gonzalez, where political affiliation and beliefs were the guiding principle to join the Department. He is not going to pursue any criminal charges against those who perpetrated it.

that whirring noise you are hearing loudly all across the United States is Thomas Jefferson, John Adams, James Madison, Alexander Hamilton, Oliver Wendall Holmes and many many other spinning in their graves.

Joseph Stalin would be proud though! This administration has successfully turned the entire country into a gulag... in reverse for some cases.

12 August 2008

everyone is a monster...

but which one are you?

Jamie but this up over at his site - Green Mountain Jamie.

i had to do it, of course, and with my results i just had to post it...

You Are A Vampire

You have a real thirst for bliss, and you consider yourself a true hedonist.

And you're not afraid to walk alone in life, if it means getting what you truly crave.

You truly enjoy entrancing people. Not to mention the ensuing pleasures of the flesh.

Your tastes have been called decadent and bizarre. You usually give in to your temptations, no matter how primal

Your greatest power: Your flawless ability to seduce and charm

Your greatest weakness: Human flesh

You play well with: Werewolves

and why did i have to post it?

i'm finishing the last book in Stephanie Myers' Twilight series - Breaking Dawn.

if you're not familiar with it, it's a teenage vampire love story and has become quite the cult book. people want to compare her as the next Harry Potter sensation. She doesn't want that and has said this is the last book in the series. it's really a fun series.

i learned about it from some teachers with whom i was working last year. when i talked about it with other teachers, they questioned me about how parents would react to it.

i had a simple response: "Edward, the vampire, refuses to have sex with Bella until they are married! What other teenage book focuses on what parents want when it comes to sex and their kids?"

besides, i love the Edward Cullen Fan Club t-shirt -

edward cullen t-shirt.jpg

thanks, Jamie...

11 August 2008

monday morning mayhem...

quick, b4 it starts...

a beer before it starts.jpg

ummm, not sure if you should use Viagra or Cyalis...

Reptile dysfunction.jpeg

some ideas that may help your week go better...

When I'm feeling down, I like to whistle. It makes the neighbor's dog run to the end of his chain and gag himself.

If you can smile when things go wrong, you have someone in mind to blame.

When you are dissatisfied and would like to go back to youth, think of Algebra.

Did you ever notice: When you put the 2 words 'The' and 'IRS' together it spells 'Theirs?'

and, the most important one...

First you forget names, then you forget faces. Then you forget to pull up your zipper. It's worse when you forget to pull it down though.

are we in the second or third week of the dog days of summer? anyway... have fun this week.

09 August 2008

i couldn't wait until Monday...

A San Francisco man was laying in bed with his new girlfriend.

After having great sex, she spent the next hour just stroking his penis, something she seemed to love to do.

Enjoying it, he turned and asked her, 'Why do you love doing that?'

She replied, 'Because sometimes I really miss mine.'

understand why i couldn't wait until monday?

08 August 2008

another assault on the American family...

NYT, August 8, 2008

Now remember that what's her name, you know that skinny anorexic looking pundit, oh yeah, Ann Coulter, said that Edwards was gay. By logic that must mean that by having an affair he must have assaulted the American family even more.

As a matter of fact, if you go to her blog, she comments on it:

Her point is that the main stream media white-washed [Coulter's word, not mine] the story and scrubbed it from the National Enquirer's revelations not wanting to give it credence and because of the media's liberal bias. [some how Enquirer and Ann Coulter in the same story counters as very bizarre! Almost oxymoronic...] In other words, it's because he's a Democrat and a Liberal. Heavens!

Her proof:
Isn't there some level of coverage between "wall-to-wall" and "double-secret probation, delta-force level total news blackout" when it comes to a sex scandal involving a current Democratic vice presidential and Cabinet prospect?

Hey, what sort of "elected official" was Ted Haggard again? He was the Christian minister no one outside of his own parish had ever heard of until he was caught in a gay sex scandal last year. Then he suddenly became the Pope of the Protestants. And yet, despite the fact that Haggard was not an "elected official," the Post gave that story wall-to-wall coverage. And what sort of "elected officials" were Mel Gibson, Rush Limbaugh and Bill Bennett?

See, the connection and the hint is already there It's all because of the assault on marriage by the gay agenda to destroy marriage. The relationship is unmistakable. Queers are either seducing holy, upstanding men or forcing them to have affairs. As long as they're not liberal Democrats. or have pretty hair. or have wives that support LGBT marriage. or...

Wait a minute!

What about John McCain's affair(s)? It [they] are very well documented. As I remember, didn't he leave his first wife for Cindy after his wife was in a severe auto accident? [Sound familiar? Newt Gingrich left his wife suffering in the hospital with cancer for a younger woman also. Seems to be a pattern here.]

And now, others are saying that Edwards is unfit to be vice-president or hold a cabinet position because of this. Given that McCain had affairs, doesn't it mean that he's unfit to not only be preznit but unfit to run for preznit?

Cenk Uygur has a great take on it over on HuffPost - How is John McCain's Affair Different than John Edwards'? check it out.

i'm so confused......

[i know. i know. what else is new?]


The Olympics start in Bejing today! The pageantry can be seen on TV tonight. The Chinese have been preparing for a long time and have made every effort to accommodate all of the foreign tourists, especially Americans, for their every comfort and understanding.

Here are a couple of examples of some of the things they've done to make it easier to, ummm, take care of personal matters while visiting...

Chines Handicapped sign.jpg

Chines Sanitary Sign.jpg

but this one is my favorite...

Chinese Saliva sign.jpg

i certainly hope our government takes things like this into consideration for foreign visitors.

06 August 2008

no comment...

fake ID.jpeg

he received some fines when he got stopped:

Running stop light = $100.00

DUI = $350.00

Not wearing a seat belt = $150.00

well, yes, i have to make a comment -

i hope he didn't have to pay a lot for this fake driver's license...

and then the fight started...

I was walking through the mall and saw an extremely large lady wearing a GUESS? T-Shirt.

All I said was, ' Thyroid Problem?'

And then the fight started......

05 August 2008

hey, stop picking on McCain...

he's doing a marvelous job at not getting elected!

Britney, his own mother, Joe Klein, Kathy Hilton...

and let's not forget that We'll always have Paris.

04 August 2008

Westboro Baptist Church arson; their response?

Here come da judge. Here come da judge.

Early Saturday someone set fire to the garage behind the Westboro Baptist Church in Kansas.

So, what did they do? They got out their signs and picketed. What would you expect? They also filmed what the firefighters were doing, and they put out a response on what they believe is behind it. [you don't have to watch it, if you don't want to.]

Thank God for WBC Fire

It was the judges' who consistently rule against them and do everything to push the faggot agenda that were behind the fire. Of course, it is. There is a vast conspiracy against the First Amendment from the fag-loving media to the Bush/Cheney administration's Homeland Security measures. It's all there for you to see.

Except there is one major problem. Mr. Phelps wants the media to be controlled but the First Amendment reads "Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press...;.

so, needless to say, i'm confused [as is often the case]. either you have a press that is unencumbered to report freely or you don't. you either have a government without religious establishment or you don't. you can't have it both ways.

or can you?

monday morning mayhem...

senior moments...

Senior protestors.jpg

Walker lockup

Will knit for sex.jpg

and finally...

Metered tombstone.jpg

Your meter's run out.jpg

thoughts for the work week...

Work pill.jpeg

Coming to work poster.jpeg

Pull my hair.jpeg

Hokey Pokey.jpeg

scary thought...

01 August 2008

Maxine's take on the election...

the other day i posted Frank & Ernest's thinking on the 2008 election - Frank & Ernest get it right...

tonight, a friend sent me Maxine's view of it...

Maxine on 2008 Election.jpg

now, i'm going to have a difficult time deciding which one i agree with more!

i'm sooooooo confused...

and what to my wondering eyes did appear...

i was just thinking that i haven't had a Bugatti Veyron post in a long time. since the Sang Noir there hasn't been a new model in a while. well, they must have been saving it for a special reason.

autoblog.com just posted a couple of pictures of the new Bugatti Veyron Grand Sport. Look Ma, no roof! First pics of Bugatti Veyron 16.4 Grand Sport, and it is grand...

2009 Bugatti Veyron Grand Sport.jpg

2009 Bugatti Veyron Grand Sport Headshot.jpg

it's the targa style coupe about which there have been rumors. the first one is going to be auctioned at the Pebble Beach Concourse d'Elegance on August 17th.

starting bid? $2,250,000. Bugatti is only making 80 of them, so you better find some spare change...

and, yes, as always before, i'm moist...

the Obama, Paris Hilton, Britney flap...

here's the one thing that struck me about McCain's ad: how out of touch is he really? to pick Paris and Britney as the current celebrities du jour when they haven't really been in the news for, well, months if not weeks...

i mean, come on, does this speak to age or his desperation?

just asking...



A lady about 8 months pregnant got on a bus. She noticed the man opposite her was smiling at her. She immediately moved to another seat. This time the smile turned into a grin, so she moved again. The man seemed more amused. When on the fourth move, the man burst out laughing, she complained to the driver and he had the man arrested.

The case came up in court.

The judge asked the man (about 20 years old) what he had to say for himself. The man replied, 'Well your Honor, it was like this, when the lady got on the bus, I couldn't help but notice her condition. She sat down under a sign that said, 'The Double Mint Twins are coming' and I grinned. Then she moved and sat under a sign that said, 'Logan 's Liniment will reduce the swelling,' and I had to smile. Then she placed herself under a deodorant sign that said, 'William's Big Stick Did the Trick,' and I could hardly contain myself. But, Your Honor, when she moved the fourth time and sat under a sign that said, 'Goodyear Rubber could have prevented this Accident'... I just lost it.'


it's the weekend. go sit under a sign... or tree... or umbrella... whatever.