29 May 2006

will someone please explain...

...if Iran is one of the largest oil reserves, ranks fourth in oil production, and has possibly the largest untapped oil fields, why are we not enticing them with recognition, helping with their economy and, consequently, increasing our own oil, not to mention lowering the price?

just asking...

out of the mouths' of babes...

this is one of the reasons why I love working with kids...

A number of primary schools were doing a project on "The Sea." Kids were asked to draw pictures or write about their experiences. Teachers got together to compare the results and put together some of the 'better' ones:

This is a picture of an octopus. It has eight testicles. (Kelly age 6)

Some fish are dangerous. Jellyfish can sting. Electric eels can give you a shock. They have to live in caves under the sea where I think they have to plug themselves to chargers. (Christopher age 7)

Oysters' balls are called pearls.(James age 6)

If you are surrounded by sea you are an Island. If you don't have sea all around you, you are incontinent. (Wayne age 7)

I think sharks are ugly and mean, and have big teeth, just like Emily. She's not my friend no more. (Kyle age 6)

A dolphin breathes through an asshole on the top of its head. (Billy age 8)

When ships had sails, they used to use the trade winds to cross the ocean. Sometimes, when the wind didn't blow the sailors would whistle to make the wind come. My brother said they would be better off eating beans. (William age 7)

I like mermaids. They are beautiful, and I like their shiny tails. How do mermaids get pregnant? (Helen age 6)

When you go swimming in the sea, it is very cold, and it makes my willy shrink. (Kevin age 6)

i hate it when that happens...

20 May 2006

WMD found!

"...sand is a WMD when used properly. You can toss it into someone's eyes during a knife fight."

Stephen Colbert, The Colbert Report


...is taught at an early age.

Daddy Longlegs

A father was watching his young daughter playing in the garden. He smiled as he reflected on how sweet and pure his little girl was. Tears formed in his eyes as he thought about her seeing the wonders of nature through such innocent eyes.

Suddenly she just stopped and stared at the ground. He went over to see what work of God had captured her attention. He noticed she was watching two spiders mating.

"Daddy, what are those two spiders doing?" she asked.

"They're mating," her father replied.

"What do you call the spider on top?" she asked.

"That's a Daddy Longlegs," her father answered.

"So, the other one is a Mommy Longlegs?" the little girl asked.

As his heart soared with the joy of such a cute and innocent question he replied, "No dear. Both of them are Daddy Longlegs."

The little girl, looking a little puzzled, thought for a moment, then took her foot and stomped them flat and said, "Well, we're not having any of that gay shit in our garden."

be careful what you say, children will listen...

18 May 2006

what disney character are you?

I'm Goofy...

and proud of it...

I'm Goofy...



Peter Pan


The Beast






Donald Duck


Sleeping Beauty




Cruella De Ville


Snow White


Which Disney Character is your Alter Ego?
created with QuizFarm.com

more important, Snow White at the end is much more apropos...

[I'm not going to tell any stories!]

15 May 2006

George Orwell, are you listening?

If you listen to the Bush version of reality, the president is all powerful. In that version, we are fighting a war against terrorism, which is a war that will never end. And as long as we are at war (forever), there is no limit to the war-fighting powers the president can claim as commander in chief.

America the Fearful, Bob Herbert, New York Times, May 15, 2006,

As long as a country is at war, its citizens will put up with personal deprivation. But, the citizens must think that it is a just war, that the enemies are devils whom they are morally obliged to exterminate. The psychology behind Hate Week is precisely that of working up both party members and proles into a frenzy of self-righteous hate for the enemy, pushing out of their minds all thought of the unsatisfactory lives that they themselves are living.

Quotes from George Orwell's Nineteen Eighty-Four

I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain.

Frank Herbert, Dune --Bene Gesserit Litany Against Fear

plus ça change, plus c’est la même chose...

14 May 2006

08 May 2006

creationsim = paganism...

Creationism dismissed as 'a kind of paganism' by Vatican's astronomer
by Ian Johnston The Scotsman

BELIEVING that God created the universe in six days is a form of superstitious paganism, the Vatican astronomer Guy Consolmagno claimed yesterday.

Brother Consolmagno, who works in a Vatican observatory in Arizona and as curator of the Vatican meteorite collection in Italy, said a "destructive myth" had developed in modern society that religion and science were competing ideologies.

He described creationism, whose supporters want it taught in schools alongside evolution, as a "kind of paganism" because it harked back to the days of "nature gods" who were responsible for natural events.

Brother Consolmagno argued that the Christian God was a supernatural one, a belief that had led the clergy in the past to become involved in science to seek natural reasons for phenomena such as thunder and lightning, which had been previously attributed to vengeful gods. "Knowledge is dangerous, but so is ignorance. That's why science and religion need to talk to each other," he said.

"Religion needs science to keep it away from superstition and keep it close to reality, to protect it from creationism, which at the end of the day is a kind of paganism - it's turning God into a nature god. And science needs religion in order to have a conscience, to know that, just because something is possible, it may not be a good thing to do."

Brother Consolmagno, who was due to give a speech at the Glasgow Science Centre last night, entitled "Why the Pope has an Astronomer", said the idea of papal infallibility had been a "PR disaster". What it actually meant was that, on matters of faith, followers should accept "somebody has got to be the boss, the final authority".

"It's not like he has a magic power, that God whispers the truth in his ear," he said.

There are some religious who have a mind based on science and logic..

Of course, what part of christianity is not based on paganism? Christmas? Easter? The two biggest fetes stolen, I mean borrowed, from paganism...

Frey - the god of yule
In the cycle of the year, he dies after the harvest, when the green things turn sere and brown. And then, on the darkest day of the year, he's reborn. In the evergreens. A baby in the tree.

sound familiar?

just asking...

02 May 2006

getting to know me...

My friend Nina sent this to me. I think this is better than any other of the pass-it-on emails you get. It's like the first interactive email I've ever seen, and you don't have to say anything you don't want to do; you don't have to reveal anything embarrassing; and you don't have to even do it. There are no threats of "You're going to hell, if you don't do this!" or "Bad luck will come in three days if you don't send it to 5 people and good luck will happen if you send it in three minutes!" Besides, it's a way to let people you already know get to know you better and others that you don't know well to get to know you. Go ahead. Try it!

Welcome to the 2006 edition of getting to know your friends. What you are supposed to do is copy (not forward) this entire e-mail and paste it onto a new e-mail that you'll send. Change all the answers so they apply to you, and then send this to a whole bunch of people including the person who sent it to you. The theory is that you will learn a lot of little things about your friends, if you did not know them already.

1. What time did you get up this morning? 4:48 am

2. Diamonds or pearls? Diamonds

3. What was the last film you saw at the cinema? Brokeback Mountain - I rarely go to the cinema...

4. What is your favorite TV show? Law and Order

5. What do you usually have for breakfast? Banana, coffee, roll; sometimes cereal with soy milk

6. Favorite cuisine? Eclectic

7. What is your middle name? Michael

8. What food do you dislike? Celery, and it doesn't like me either!

9. What is your favorite CD at the moment? Le Roi Soliel - new French musical

10. What kind of car do you drive? Infiniti FX35

11. Favorite sandwich? Chicken Grinder - grilled chicken on garlic bread with grilled onions, mozarella, & ketchup/mustard; I had one tonight!

12. Favorite item(s) of clothing? Lounge pants and a henly

13. If you could go anywhere in the world on vacation, where would you go? Paris

14. What color is your bathroom? Light grey

15. Favorite brand of clothing? #1. Claiborne [#2. Armani]

16. Where would you retire to? It was Paris, but I'm not sure anymore

17. What was your most memorable birthday? 50 - I threw myself a surprise birthday party.

18. Favorite sport to watch? Tennis, if that...

19. Furthest place you are sending this? California

20. Who do you least expect to send this back to you? Ed

21. Person you expect to send it back first? Floyd

22. Favorite saying? Get over it and once you do, you'll realize there was nothing to get over...

23. When is your birthday? March 8, 1947

24. Are you a morning person or a night person? Morning..

25. What is your shoe size? 13

26. Pets? None

27. What did you want to be when you were little? Teacher

28. How are you today? Motivated, attending the International Reading Association convention this week full of great ideas.

29. What is your favorite candy? Baby Ruth [I know, I know my friends expected it to be Dalloyau in France!]

30. What is your favorite flower? Yellow roses

31. What is a day on the calendar you are looking forward to? June 16, 2006 - last day of the school year!