16 June 2008

monday morning mayhem...

things to bring up in conversation...

The human body is a machine that is full of wonder. This collection of human body facts will leave you wondering why in the heck we were designed the way we were.

1. Scientists say the higher your IQ The more you dream.
2. The largest cell in the human body is the female egg. 3. The smallest is the male sperm.
4. You use 200 muscles to take one step.
5. The average woman is 5 inches shorter than the average man.
6. Your big toes have two bones each while the rest have three.
7. A pair of human feet contain 250,000 sweat glands.
8. A full bladder is roughly the size of a soft ball.
9. The acid in your stomach is strong enough to dissolve razor blades.
10. The human brain cell can hold 5 times as much information as the Encyclopedia Britannica.
11. It takes the food seven seconds to get from your mouth to your stomach
12. The average human dream lasts 2-3 seconds.
13. Men without hair on their chests are more likely to get cirrhosis of the liver than men with hair.
14. At the moment of conception, you spent about half an hour as a single cell.
15. There is about one trillion bacteria on each of your feet.
16. Your body gives off enough heat in 30 minutes to bring half a gallon of water to a boil.
17. The enamel in your teeth is the hardest substance in your body.
18. Your teeth start developing (in your gums) 6 months before you are born.
19. When you are looking at someone you love, your pupils dilate, they do the same when you are looking at someone you hate.
20. Blondes have more hair than dark-haired people.
21. Your thumb is the same length as your nose
22. At this very moment I know full well you are putting this last fact to the test

.... now remove your thumb from your nose, copy this, and pass this on to the friends you think might be interested in comparing their thumbs to their noses as well.

ummm, do you thing the insurance company covered it?

Bubba walked into a doctor's office and the receptionist asked him what he had. Bubba said: 'Shingles.' So she wrote down his name, address, medical insurance number and told him to have a seat.

Fifteen minutes later a nurse's aide came out and asked Bubba what he had.

Bubba said, 'Shingles.' So she wrote down his height, weight, a complete medical history and told Bubba to wait in the examining room.

A half hour later a nurse came in and asked Bubba what he had. Bubba said, 'Shingles.' So the nurse gave Bubba a blood test, a blood pressure test, an electrocardiogram, and told Bubba to take off all his clothes and wait for the doctor.

An hour later the doctor came in and found Bubba sitting patiently in the nude and asked Bubba what he had. Bubba said, 'Shingles.' The doctor asked, 'Where?'

Bubba said, 'Outside on the truck. Where do you want me to unload 'em??'

tchn rdn' sn't fn...

My five-year old students, are learning to read.

Yesterday one of them pointed at a picture in a zoo book and said,

"Look at this! It's a frickin' elephant!"

I took a deep breath, then asked..."What did you call it?"

"It's a frickin' elephant! It says so on the picture!"

"Frickin" elephant.jpg
" A f r i c a n Elephant "

And so it does...

sometimes, i don't know how i did it...

by the way, everyone should have been able to read the heading for this story. though we teach vowels first to kids, once you know how to read, they're really unnecessary. you can read without them. English is the most difficult language to learn.

and finally...

Road sign work.jpg

have a good week. take another route...

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