08 June 2009

monday morning mayhem...


A filthy rich Florida man decided that he wanted to throw a party and invited all of his buddies and neighbors.

He also invited Jerry, the only Hillbilly in the neighborhood. He held the party around the pool in the backyard of his mansion.

Jerry was having a good time drinking, dancing, eating shrimp, oysters and BBQ and flirting with all the women.

At the height of the party, the host said, 'I have a 10 foot man-eating gator in my pool and I'll give a million dollars to anyone who has the nerve to jump in..'

The words were barely out of his mouth when there was a loud splash. Everyone turned around and saw Jerry in the pool!

Jerry was fighting the gator and kicking its ass! Jerry was jabbing it in the eyes with his thumbs, throwing punches, head butts and choke holds, biting the gator on the tail and flipping it through the air like some kind of Judo Instructor.

The water was churning and splashing everywhere. Both Jerry and the gator were screaming and raising hell.

Finally Jerry strangled the gator and let it float to the top like a dime store goldfish.

Jerry then slowly climbed out of the pool. Everybody was just staring at him in disbelief.

Finally the host says, 'Well, Jerry, I reckon I owe you a million dollars."

'No, that's okay. I don't want it,' said Jerry.

The rich man said, 'Man, I have to give you something. You won the bet. How about half a million bucks then?'

'No thanks, I don't want it,' answered Jerry.

The host said, 'Come on, I insist on giving you something... That was amazing. How about a new Porsche and a Rolex and some stock options?'

Again Jerry said no.

Confused, the rich man asked, 'Well, Jerry, then what do you want?'

Jerry said, 'I want the name of the Sumabich who pushed me in the pool!

hope your weekend was, ummm, better than Jerry's...

special email alert!

If you receive an email with "nude photos of Liz Cheney"
written in the subject line, don't open it.

It might contain nude photos of Liz Cheney.

Liz Cheney puppet copy.jpg

Five-minute Management Course: Lesson #3

A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp.

They rub it and a Genie comes out.

The Genie says, 'I'll give each of you just one wish.'

'Me first! Me first!' says the admin. clerk. 'I want to be in the Bahamas, driving a speedboat, without a care in the world.'

Puff! She's gone.

'Me next! Me next!' says the sales rep. 'I want to be in Hawaii, relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas and the love of my life.'

Puff! He's gone.

'OK, you're up,' the Genie says to the manager.

The manager says, 'I want those two back in the office after lunch.'

Moral of the story:

Always let your boss have the first say.

that's pretty sound advice. it is a perfect example of the #1 administrative rule - CYA

cover your ass...

maxim from Maxine...

Maxim from Maxine.jpg

i wish i would have seen her earlier...

Hysterical Dog.gif
Maxx was home all weekend.
i had to go out.
he was driving me nuts,
and Jerry locked himself in his litter box.
he couldn't stand Maxx either.
now, that's bad...

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