everybody must be p.c....

I believe my generation was the impetus behind p.c. [political correctness] and certainly, with the furies over the Muhammed cartoons, it has become even more of an issue to some people. My friend, Floyd, sent this to me and I'm not sure where he found it, but it is a start.

Make sure you catch yourself if you start to use an inappropriate remark...

and have fun!

Due to the climate of political correctness now pervading America, Kentuckians, Tennesseans and West Virginians will no longer be referred to as "HILLBILLIES." You must now refer to us as APPALACHIAN-AMERICANS.

And furthermore ....

HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:

1. She is not a "BABE" or a "CHICK" - She is a "BREASTED AMERICAN."

2. She is not a "SCREAMER" or a "MOANER" - She is "VOCALLY APPRECIATIVE."

3. She is not "EASY" - She is "HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE."

4. She is not a "DUMB BLONDE" - She is a "LIGHT-HAIRED DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY."

5. She has not "BEEN AROUND" - She is a "PREVIOUSLY-ENJOYED COMPANION."

6. She is not an "AIRHEAD" - She is "REALITY IMPAIRED."

7. She does not get "DRUNK" or "TIPSY" - She gets "CHEMICALLY INCONVENIENCED"

8. She does not have "BREAST IMPLANTS" - She is "MEDICALLY ENHANCED."

9. She does not "NAG" you - She becomes "VERBALLY REPETITIVE."

10. She is not a "TRAMP" - She is "SEXUALLY EXTROVERTED."

11. She does not have "MAJOR LEAGUE HOOTERS" - She is "PECTORALLY SUPERIOR."

12. She is not a "TWO-BIT HOOKER" - She is a "LOW COST PROVIDER."


HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT MEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:

1. He does not have a "BEER GUT" - He has developed a "LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY."

2. He is not a "BAD DANCER" - He is "OVERLY CAUCASIAN."

3. He does not "GET LOST ALL THE TIME" - He "INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS."

4. He is not "BALDING" - He is in "FOLLICLE REGRESSION."

5. He is not a "CRADLE ROBBER" - He prefers "GENERATIONAL DIFFERENTIAL RELATIONSHIPS."

6. He does not get "FALLING-DOWN DRUNK" - He becomes "ACCIDENTALLY HORIZONTAL."

7. He does not act like a "TOTAL ASS" - He develops a case of RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION."

8. He is not a "MALE CHAUVINIST PIG" - He has "SWINE EMPATHY."

9. He is not afraid of "COMMITMENT" - He is "RELATIONSHIP CHALLENGED."

10. He is not "HORNY" - He is "SEXUALLY FOCUSED."

and my personal favorite...

11. It’s not his "CRACK" you see hanging out of his pants - It’s "REAR CLEAVAGE

but there is a solution to this last one...




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It will last for - well long enough
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...offensive is as offensive does?

i love it!

wwjd...

...just asking.

theocracy, anyone...?



State bill proposes Christianity be Missouri’s official religion

By John Mills, News 4, KMOV, St. Louis, MO

Missouri legislators in Jefferson City considered a bill that would name Christianity the state's official "majority" religion.

House Concurrent Resolution 13 has is pending in the state legislature.

Many Missouri residents had not heard about the bill until Thursday.

Karen Aroesty of the Anti-defamation league, along with other watch-groups, began a letter writing and email campaign to stop the resolution.

The resolution would recognize "a Christian god," and it would not protect minority religions, but "protect the majority's right to express their religious beliefs.

The resolution also recognizes that, "a greater power exists," and only Christianity receives what the resolution calls, "justified recognition."

State representative David Sater of Cassville in southwestern Missouri, sponsored the resolution, but he has refused to talk about it on camera or over the phone.

KMOV also contacted Gov. Matt Blunt's office to see where he stands on the resolution, but he has yet to respond.

Branson will be the site of the holy shrine to the Blessed Bronco...



Oh, wait, iT may be a Divine Dodge...



No, I forgot the Holy Arch...



bow your heads...






[my answer to wwjd... shit his sandals!]

blog colors...

Your Blog Should Be Purple

You're an expressive, offbeat blogger who tends to write about anything and everything. You tend to set blogging trends, and you're the most likely to write your own meme or survey. You are a bit distant though. Your blog is all about you - not what anyone else has to say.

What Color Should Your Blog or Journal Be?

It was my mother's favorite color - lilac actually. I don't think I'd ever choose purple though.

it's a little too lenten...

...girly boy?

You Are 70% Boyish and 30% Girlish

You are pretty evenly split down the middle - a total eunuch. Okay, kidding about the eunuch part. But you do get along with both sexes. You reject traditional gender roles. However, you don't actively fight them. You're just you. You don't try to be what people expect you to be.

How Boyish or Girlish Are You?

Thanks for the heads up aethlos

wonder what the governator would score?

just asking...

as if I didn't know...

Your Job Dissatisfaction Level is 83%

Your job is a disaster - it's surprising you've lasted this long. You need to quit if you can, even if you don't have another job lined up. As far as stressful work situations go, yours is off the scale brutal. Almost any job would be better than what you've got!

Should You Quit Your Job?

[These things are just like the horoscopes, but a lot more fun.]

Actually, I'm surprised at the 83%! I would have thought it to be higher. Though, the description fits. The problem is that I like what I do.

...ain't that weird?

Divine, just divine...

I was reading an article in the new Time Online Edition about David Hockney, Twilight of the Bad Boy, and came across this picture of Divine that Hockney had painted.



It's amazing how David Hockney captured Divine.

I met her once, though I really wouldn't say I met her as you will see, when I was working at a bar, the Bushes, in Chicago during the 80's. She walked into the bar after a performance at a Chicago venue. She sat down at a corner bend in the bar, ordered a vodka, and threw-up all over the place. [It wasn't an auspicious meeting.]

charming...

...john crichton where are you?

what sci-fi crew would you best fit in?

Thanks to John Cole's Balloon Juice for the heads-up on this esoteric little quiz. The link is at the end of the post.

I was pleasantly surprised by my result. Farscape was not what I had in mind, but as I think about it, it fits me, and Moya always intrigued me.


Your Ultimate Sci-Fi Profile II: which sci-fi crew would you best fit in? (pics)
created with QuizFarm.com

Moya (Farscape) 100% Babylon 5 (Babylon 5) 88% Deep Space Nine (Star Trek) 81% SG-1 (Stargate) 81% Nebuchadnezzar (The Matrix) 81% Serenity (Firefly) 75% Enterprise D (Star Trek) 63% Bebop (Cowboy Bebop) 50% Andromeda Ascendant (Andromeda) 50% Millennium Falcon (Star Wars) 50% Galactica (Battlestar: Galactica) 50% FBI's X-Files Division (The X-Files) 38% Your Ultimate Sci-Fi Profile II: which sci-fi crew would you best fit in? (pics) created with QuizFarm.com

now if I could only find John Crichton...

be careful what you wish for...

It seems that a 31-year old Danish man of Lebanese descent, Ahmed Akkari, is responsible for the fiasco of the cartoons. He brought a book of cartoons to a number of clerics in the Middle East since the Prime Minister of Denmark failed to take action over the cartoon. What did he expect the prime minister of a democracy to do about something dealing with free speech. Slap wrists? Change the law to destroy freedom of the press? Turn Denmark into a theocratic country? Destroy multiculturalism?

And he's surprise at the reaction around the globe!

"Yeah, it has been more violent than I expected," he said. "I had no interest in any violence. ... It is bad for our case because it's turning the picture completely from what this should be about, to something else _ and this is a dangerous change now."

Well, what did he really expect? The entire Islamic world seemed to be aflame before the cartoon, and when you add more kindling to the fire it gets hotter, brighter and larger. He fell right into someone's hands.

...isn't hindsight wonderful?

The full story here:

'It is not what I want to happen', Scripps Howard News Service.

a real start...

Andrew Sullivan.com found a great website that has a lot of cartoons about the Islamic brouhaha over in Europe regarding the Danish cartoon. I didn't see the original cartoon but there many, many others and I didn't go through all of the pages.

You can find them here - Darryl Cagle's Professional Cartoonists Index

This is my personal favorite. It's by Vince O'Farrell, Wallongong, Australia in The Illawarra Mercury & The Melbourne Express.



Is it offense? Maybe. Is it freedom of speech? Absolutely! Is it able to bring different sides to the story? You betcha. Is it cause to riot, kill, mame, burn, spit on other's beliefs? No freakin' way!

I look at it this way. If it offends me, I ignore it. If it stops my freedom of speech, I'll fight it. If it teaches me something about others, I'll embrace it. If it causes me to go out and rape & pillage, I have to realize that I'm not the only person in the world and I have no right to demand that others do or belief as I say.

...what to you think?

...more of a start?

Andrew Sullivan got wind of this from an emailer who saw it on The Stranger. It's was posted on telephone poles on Capitol Hill in Seattle.



[The bottom is difficult to read. It says, "Eternal vigilance is the price of freedom. Wendell Phillips."]

This still isn't from the press with the exception of the Stranger Website. When is the legitimate press going to join the fray?

...just asking.

...a start?

NY Press Kills Cartoons; Staff Walks Out

The editorial staff of the alternative weekly New York Press walked out today, en masse, after the paper's publishers backed down from printing the Danish cartoons that have become the center of a global free-speech fight.

Editor-in-Chief Harry Siegel emails, on behalf of the editorial staff:

New York Press, like so many other publications, has suborned its own professed principles. For all the talk of freedom of speech, only the New York Sun locally and two other papers nationally have mustered the minimal courage needed to print simple and not especially offensive editorial cartoons that have been used as a pretext for great and greatly menacing violence directed against journalists, cartoonists, humanitarian aid workers, diplomats and others who represent the basic values and obligations of Western civilization. Having been ordered at the 11th hour to pull the now-infamous Danish cartoons from an issue dedicated to them, the editorial group—consisting of myself, managing editor Tim Marchman, arts editorJonathan Leaf and one-man city hall bureau Azi Paybarah, chose instead to resign our positions.

We have no desire to be free speech martyrs, but it would have been nakedly hypocritical to avoid the same cartoons we'd criticized others for not running, cartoons that however absurdly have inspired arson, kidnapping and murder and forced cartoonists in at least two continents to go into hiding. Editors have already been forced to leave papers in Jordan and France for having run these cartoons. We have no illusions about the power of the Press (NY Press, we mean), but even on the far margins of the world-historical stage, we are not willing to side with the enemies of the values we hold dear, a free press not least among them.

This was not an easy decision. I've been reading the Press since 1988 and have dreamed of running it for nearly as long. The paper's editorial staff has worked impossibly hard hours and has come quite a ways in only a few months towards restoring the paper's tarnished editorial reputation and credibility. I'm proud of the work we've done, and wish we'd had time to finish the job. I wish the Press all the best, and hope that under new ownership and leadership it can again be an invaluable read for all good Gothamites.

NY Press Kills Cartoons; Staff Walks Out from The Politicker.com

All right, it's a start. But where are all of the others? Where is the outrage from free journalists? Where is the investigation about why this is all happening? Where are the counter demonstrations? Why aren't the mosques and Islamic embassies being burnt down in western democracies? Where is the indignation by Mr. Bush in his push for democracy in the Middle East? Is there more than one kind of democracy for the White House? Is the official position of the West to placate terrorists? Isn't that what these people are doing? Terrorizing?

And why, why, if the cartoon was originally published in September are these fools reacting now?

just asking...

this says it all...

... about my take on the cartoon melee going on in the world:

Fuck 'em if they can't take a joke.

from Bette Midler's View From a Broad




...always philosophical, she is.

an event that has unfortunate consequences...

I was recently asked what I thought the biggest disaster in history was. I had to think for a moment.

I don't think that there is one. I think there is a pair. Both are connected and unconnected at the same time.

1. The alleged crucifixion of Jesus.

2. The birth of Mohammed.

Both of these events have brought about the deaths of millions of people over hundreds of years, in spite of the messages of these two men. It is through no fault of them. Segments of their followers have taken their own interpretations instead of listening to the true essence of their meaning.

Pity.

Islamists have broken their own belief against idolatry. One doesn't need an image to make an idol. Only a fanatic!

I suppose this holds true for Jesus also...

my word...

My friend, Floyd emailed this to me. Thought you'd all enjoy it. I loved Abbot & Costello. Thanks, Floyd.


*COSTELLO CALLS TO BUY A COMPUTER FROM ABBOTT*


ABBOTT: Super Duper Computer Store. Can I help you?

COSTELLO: Thanks. I'm setting up an office in my den and I'm thinking about buying a computer.

ABBOTT: Mac?

COSTELLO: No, the name's Lou.

ABBOTT: Your computer?

COSTELLO: I don't own a computer. I want to buy one.

ABBOTT: Mac?

COSTELLO: I told you, my name's Lou.

ABBOTT: What about Windows?

COSTELLO: Why? Will it get stuffy in here?

ABBOTT: Do you want a computer with Windows?

COSTELLO: I don't know. What will I see when I look at the windows?

ABBOTT: Wallpaper.

COSTELLO: Never mind the windows. I need a computer and software.

ABBOTT: Software for Windows?

COSTELLO: No. On the computer! I need something I can use to write proposals track expenses and run my business. What do you have?

ABBOTT: Office.

COSTELLO: Yeah, for my office. Can you recommend anything?

ABBOTT: I just did.

COSTELLO: You just did what?

ABBOTT: Recommend something.

COSTELLO: You recommended something?

ABBOTT: Yes.

COSTELLO: For my office?

ABBOTT: Yes.

COSTELLO: OK, what did you recommend for my office?

ABBOTT: Office.

COSTELLO: Yes, for my office!

ABBOTT: I recommend Office with Windows.

COSTELLO: I already have an office with windows! Okaaayy, let's just say I'm sitting at my computer and I want to type a proposal. What do I need?

ABBOTT: Word.

COSTELLO: What word?

ABBOTT: Word in Office.

COSTELLO: The only word in office is office.

ABBOTT: The Word in Office for Windows.

COSTELLO: Which word in office for windows?

ABBOTT: The Word you get when you click the blue "W".

COSTELLO: I'm going to click your blue "w" if you don't start with some straight answers. What about financial bookkeeping? You have anything I can track my money with?

ABBOTT: Money.

COSTELLO: That's right. What do you have?

ABBOTT: Money.

COSTELLO: I need money to track my money?

ABBOTT: It comes bundled with your computer.

COSTELLO: What's bundled with my computer?

ABBOTT: Money.

COSTELLO: Money comes with my computer?

ABBOTT: Yes. No extra charge.

COSTELLO: I get a bundle of money with my computer? How much?

ABBOTT: One copy.

COSTELLO: Isn't it illegal to copy money?

ABBOTT: Microsoft gave us a license to copy Money.

COSTELLO: They can give you a license to copy money?

ABBOTT: Why not? THEY OWN IT!

(A few days later)

ABBOTT: Super Duper Computer Store. Can I help you?

COSTELLO: How do I turn my computer off?

ABBOTT: Click on "START".......



...and you're almost finished.

He should have stopped when he heard the word Mac...

the dark side...

the farce be with you: Darth Squirrel...