A Sunday school teacher asked her little children, as they were on their way to church service, "And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?" One bright little girl replied, "Because people are sleeping!"
The Preacher was wired for sound with a lapel mike, and as he preached he moved briskly about the platform, jerking the mike cords as he went. Then he moved to one side, getting wound up in the cord and nearly tripping before he jerked it again. After several circles and jerks, a little girl in the third pew leaned toward her mother and whispered, "If he gets loose will he hurt us?"
Six year old Angie and her four-year old brother Joel were sitting together in church. Joel giggled, sang and talked out loud. Finally his big sister had had enough. "You're not supposed to talk out loud in church!" "Why? Who's going to stop me?" Joel asked. Angie pointed to the back of the church and said, "See those two men standing by the door? They're hushers!"
My grandson was visiting one day when he asked, "Grandma, do you know how you and God are alike?" I mentally polished my halo while I asked, No, how are we alike?" "You're both old, " he replied
A ten year old, under the tutelage of her grandmother, was becoming quite knowledgeable about the Bible. Then one day she floored her grandmother by asking, "Which Virgin was the mother of Jesus? The Virgin Mary or the King James Virgin?"
A Sunday school class was studying the Ten Commandments. They were ready to discuss the last one. The teacher asked if anyone could tell her what it was. Susie raised her hand, stood tall, and quoted, "Thou shall not take the covers off the neighbors wife!"
And one particular four-year old prayed, "And forgive us for our trash baskets as we forgive those who put trash in our baskets!"
A little boy was overheard praying: "Lord, if you can't make me a better boy, don't worry about it. I'm having a real good time like I am!!!"
and the absolute best for last...
One Sunday in a Midwest city, a young child was "acting up" during the morning worship hour. The parents did their best to maintain some sense of order in the pew but were losing the battle. Finally, the father picked the little fellow up and walked sternly up the aisle on his way out. Just before reaching the safety of the foyer, the little one called loudly to the congregation, "Pray for me! Pray for me!"