This is the sunset at the North Pole with the moon at its closest point. You also see the sun below the moon.

awesome...
Sven found a printing press at a garage sale and decided to print some counterfeit money. He printed up a batch and showed them to Ollie.
Ollie said "Uff da! Yew must be noots! Nobody vill take an eighteen dollar bill."
Sven said, "Vell ay tink ay know yust vhere ve can get rid of dem -- in Nord Dakota."
Ollie said, "Well come on den, let's get rid of dem fast."
They drive to a store in Wahpeton, pulled out an eighteen dollar bill and asked the clerk, "Yew got change for dis here bill?"
The clerk looks it over carefully and says, "Ya, you betcha. Whaddya want: two nines or three sixes?"
The phrase "Verschärfte Vernehmung" is German for "enhanced interrogation". Other translations include "intensified interrogation" or "sharpened interrogation". It's a phrase that appears to have been concocted in 1937, to describe a form of torture that would leave no marks, and hence save the embarrassment pre-war Nazi officials were experiencing as their wounded torture victims ended up in court. The methods, as you can see above, are indistinguishable from those described as "enhanced interrogation techniques" by the president.[Andrew even includes a translation of the Gestapo documents.]
Dear Friends:
The FCC is on the verge of turning over a large chunk of the public airwaves to the same giant phone and cable companies that control high-speed Internet access for more than 96 percent of connected American homes.
This public "spectrum" could revolutionize the Internet in America. Its wireless signal passes through concrete buildings and over mountains; it can connect tens of million of Americans who are being passed over by Internet providers like AT&T, Verizon and Comcast.
Don't let the FCC give away our wireless Internet to these price-gouging giants. The FCC deadline is fast approaching. Act now:
Tell the FCC: Use Our Airwaves for the Public Good
Broadcast television channels will soon vacate these airwaves when they go digital by 2009. If used right, these public airways will revolutionize the ways we connect to laptops, cell phones, PDAs, music players and other mobile Internet devices. They can deliver an open Internet into your house without the need for a telephone wire or cable modem.
Phone and cable lobbyists are pressuring the FCC to sell companies like AT&T, Verizon and Comcast our airwaves so they can horde spectrum and stifle competitive and cheaper alternatives to their established networks.
This would be a disaster. After years of phone and cable company control over Internet access, the United States has fallen to 16th in the world in high-speed Internet rankings, with few choices and some of the highest prices for the slowest speeds in the world. We will continue this decline as long as we let AT&T, Verizon and Comcast dictate the terms of Internet access for the majority of Americans.
These phone and cable giants refuse to open their networks to competitive applications and services. They lobby Washington to stifle new innovations like Internet phone service and to destroy Net Neutrality, the one principle that protects equal opportunity and free choice on the Web.
We need to end their stranglehold and demand a better Internet for everyone:
Tell the FCC: Keep the New Internet Open to All
With open networks, the rest of the world has rapidly adopted high-speed, Internet platforms for education, economic innovation, creativity and civic participation. Countries like South Korea, Japan, France and Canada have leapfrogged the United States and now offer faster Internet connections at far lower prices.
It's time we caught up.
Act now and help clear the path for a technology that will deliver faster, more open and affordable Internet for everyone.
Thank you,
Timothy Karr
Campaign Director
Free Press
"I thought, 'What are we doing here? Why are we still here?' " said Safstrom, a member of Delta Company of the 1st Battalion, 325th Airborne Infantry, 82nd Airborne Division. "We're helping guys that are trying to kill us. We help them in the day. They turn around at night and try to kill us." International Herald Tribune
Isn't it time that we either win this war or tell the American people why we can't? Isn't it time to recognize the great immorality of sending our neighbors' sons to die with hope we can do so without angering the enemy too much?
...says Roseanne Barr. I have a lot of empathy for them. They had to go to a horrible place and perform a hideous job for people who didn't appreciate it.
I know what that's like; I used to be a waitress at Denny's.
Republicans should never skip their meds.
Caller: I'm trying to reach nine eleven but my phone doesn't have
an eleven on it.
Dispatcher: This is nine eleven.
Caller: I thought you just said it was nine-one-one.
Dispatcher: Yes, ma'am nine-one-one and nine-eleven are the same thing.
Caller: Honey, I may be old, but I'm not stupid.
...and is fun to drive. I tend to have a heavy foot on the gas pedal. I blame it on the turbo engine.
Anyway, I got stopped for speeding the other day.
I thought I could talk my way out of it,
until the cop looked at my dog in the back seat...
Rosie O'Donnell: Six-hundred and fifty-five thousand Iraqi civilians are dead. Who are the terrorists?
Elisabeth Hasselbeck: Who are the terrorists?
RO: ...six-hundred and fifty-five... I'm saying you have to look from... We invaded...
EH: Who are you calling terrorists?
RO: ...I'm saying if you were in Iraq, and another country, the United States, the richest in the world, invaded your country and killed six-hundred and fifty-five thousand of your citizens, what would you call us?
EH: Are you saying we're killing their citizens or are they, their people also killing their citizens?
RO: We're invading a sovereign nation and occupying a nation against the UN...
"Il nous faut de l'audace, et encore de l'audace, et toujours de l'audace." Georges Danton
"We must dare, and again dare, and forever dare.
Everyone concentrates on the problems we're having in this country lately; illegal immigration, hurricane recovery, wild animals and sharks attacking people in Florida...
Not me! I concentrate on solutions to problems. The result is a win-win-win situation:
+ Dig a moat the length of the Mexican border
+ Use the dirt to raise the levies in New Orleans
+ Put the Florida alligators and sharks in the moat .
Any other problems you would like for me to solve today?
Maxine for President!!
The Bush administration is developing plans to "internationalise" the Iraq crisis, including an expanded role for the United Nations, as a way of reducing overall US responsibility for Iraq's future and limiting domestic political fallout from the war as the 2008 election season approaches....
"The blame game has already begun. The Democrats want to run against a 'chaos in Iraq' scenario. The Republicans will want to keep extending it [the surge] past next February. The White House may offer a schedule for a drawdown - but what does that really mean?... The only policy Republicans have is a policy of delaying the inevitable."
In chess, the endgame (or end game or ending) refers to the stage of the game when there are few pieces left on the board.
As of yesterday, gas prices are the highest in U.S. history—we just passed the 1981 record, even adjusted for inflation. Prices could reach $4.00 per gallon in parts of the country, just in time to crimp summer vacation plans. As consumers suffer, the oil industry continues to reap the windfall—breaking profit records on an almost quarterly basis. It's outrageous!
Enough is enough. Hearings start today on H.R. 1252, a House bill that would make gas price gouging a federal crime, punishable by 10 years in prison. Speaker Pelosi has said she'll move the bill to a vote this week—if there's the two-thirds majority required to fast track the bill through the process.
Oil company lobbyists are frantically trying to stop the bill. Your representative needs to hear from you today. Will you sign our petition asking Congress to pass the price-gouging bill—and then send it to your friends?
"Gasoline price gouging should be made a federal crime before the summer price increases hurt more American families."
Sign the petition MoveOn.org has started today:
Stop Price Gouging
Rep Bart Stupak (D-MI), sponsor of the House bill said this of his motivation to introduce the legislation:
"In April ... crude oil was $7 a barrel cheaper than last year (but) gas prices were almost 50 cents a gallon higher. Clearly there's more at play than simply the world crude oil market."
In April, more than two-thirds of Americans reported that their gas bills were causing financial crunches, with a full third saying it was having a "serious" impact on their families.
That same month, the top two US companies, Exxon-Mobil and Chevron-Texaco, announced a combined $14 billion in first quarter profits.
It seems like even the oil industry has gone too far this time, and it's time to balance the scales. The Senate passed a price-gouging measure out of committee last week, and the House bill now has over 100 co-sponsors from both sides of the aisle.
The oil industry is nervous. They've sent their lobbyists to the Hill in full force to stop—or at least weaken—these bills, and they're pulling out all the stops. The American Petroleum Institute, an industry front group of more than 400 oil and gas companies, even threatened that new laws could increase gas prices more.
Enough is enough. This summer, we can stop Big Oil from profiting at the expense of American families. Can you sign the petition to ask your representative to make gasoline a price gouging a federal crime now?
Sign the petition: Stop Price Gouging Don't forget to pass it on to your friends—this week is an historic opportunity to send Big Oil a message that we've had enough.
Thanks for all you do.
from:
–Ilyse, Natalie, Eli, Tom, and the MoveOn.org Political Action Team, Tuesday, May 22, 2007
* Criminalize "attempting" to infringe copyright. Federal law currently punishes not-for-profit copyright infringement with between 1 and 10 years in prison, but there has to be actual infringement that takes place....
* Permit more wiretaps for piracy investigations. Wiretaps would be authorized for investigations of Americans who are "attempting" to infringe copyrights....
* Allow computers to be seized more readily. Specifically, property such as a PC "intended to be used in any manner" to commit a copyright crime would be subject to forfeiture, including civil asset forfeiture....
* Require Homeland Security to alert the Recording Industry Association of America. That would happen when CDs with "unauthorized fixations of the sounds, or sounds and images, of a live musical performance" are attempted to be imported.
With scarcely a mention in the mainstream media, President Bush has ordered up a plan for responding to a catastrophic attack.
In a new National Security Presidential Directive, Bush lays out his plans for dealing with a “catastrophic emergency.”
Under that plan, he entrusts himself with leading the entire federal government, not just the Executive Branch. And he gives himself the responsibility “for ensuring constitutional government.”
He laid this all out in a document entitled “National Security Presidential Directive/NSPD 51” and “Homeland Security Presidential Directive/HSPD-20.”
Definitions
(b) "Catastrophic Emergency" means any incident, regardless of location, that results in extraordinary levels of mass casualties, damage, or disruption severely affecting the U.S. population, infrastructure, environment, economy, or government functions;
Implementation Actions
(6) The President shall lead the activities of the Federal Government for ensuring constitutional government. In order to advise and assist the President in that function, the Assistant to the President for Homeland Security and Counterterrorism (APHS/CT) is hereby designated as the National Continuity Coordinator. The National Continuity Coordinator, in coordination with the Assistant to the President for National Security Affairs (APNSA), without exercising directive authority, shall coordinate the development and implementation of continuity policy for executive departments and agencies. The Continuity Policy Coordination Committee (CPCC), chaired by a Senior Director from the Homeland Security Council staff, designated by the National Continuity Coordinator, shall be the main day-to-day forum for such policy coordination.
"The statement of this proposition shows its importance, for, if true, republican government is a failure, and there is an end of liberty regulated by law. Martial law established on such a basis destroys every guarantee of the Constitution, [emphasis added] and effectually renders the "military independent of and superior to the civil power" — the attempt to do which by the King of Great Britain was deemed by our fathers such an offence that they assigned it to the world as one of the causes which impelled them to declare their independence. Civil liberty and this kind of martial law cannot endure {125} together; the antagonism is irreconcilable, and, in the conflict, one or the other must perish [Ex Parte Milligan, 71 U.S. 2 (4 Wall.), (1866)
Washington - The Homeland Security Department is breaking the law by not telling the public exactly how personal information is used to screen international travelers, including Americans, congressional investigators said Wednesday.
One of the screening programs at issue is a computer-based system called the Automated Targeting System that is used by the Customs and Border Protection agency to rate the risk posed by travelers coming to and from the United States.
In its report, the Government Accountability Office said the department is not in full compliance with privacy laws that require agencies to tell the public how the government uses their personal information.
"CBP's current disclosures do not fully inform the public about all of its systems for prescreening aviation passenger information," the GAO report said. "Nor do they explain how CBP combines data in the prescreening process, as required by law."
The GAO, Congress' auditing agency, also said Customs has not publicly disclosed all the sources of data it reviews on passengers, including information obtained from commercial sources. It did not explain what those commercial sources may be and government officials declined to comment.
The doc told him that masturbating before sex often helped men last longer during the act. The man decided, "What the heck, I'll try it," He spent the rest of the day thinking about where to do it. He couldn't do it in his office. He thought about the restroom, but that was too open. He considered an alley, but figured that was too unsafe. Finally, he realized his solution. On his way home, he pulled his truck over on the side of the highway. He got out and crawled underneath as if he was examining the truck. Satisfied with the privacy, he undid his pants and started to masturbate. He closed his eyes and thought of his lover.
As he grew closer to orgasm, he felt a quick tug at the bottom of his pants. Not wanting to lose his mental fantasy or the orgasm, he kept his eyes shut and replied, "What?" He heard,
"This is the police. What's going on down there?"
The man replied, "I'm checking out the rear axle, it's busted."
The policeman then told him, "Well, you might as well check your brakes too while you're down there, because your truck rolled down the hill 5 minutes ago."
An American is having breakfast, in Paris, one morning (coffee, croissants, bread, butter and jam) when a Frenchman, chewing bubble-gum, sits down next to him. The American ignores the Frenchman who, nevertheless, starts a conversation.
Frenchman: "You American folk eat the whole bread??"
American (in a bad mood): "Of course."
Frenchman: (after blowing a huge bubble) "We don't. In France, we only eat what's inside. The crusts we collect in a container, recycle it, transform them into croissants and sell them to the states." The Frenchman has a smirk on his face.
The American listens in silence.
The Frenchman persists: "Do you eat jelly with the bread??"
American: "Of Course."
Frenchman: (cracking his bubble-gum between his teeth and chuckling).
"We don't. In France we eat fresh fruit for breakfast, then we put all the peels, seeds, and leftovers in containers, recycle them, transform them into jam, and sell the jam to the states."
After a moment of silence, The American then asks: "Do you have sex in France?"
Frenchman: "Why of course we do", he says with a big smirk.
American: "And what do you do with the condoms once you've used them?"
Frenchman: "We throw them away, of course."
American: "We don't. In America, we put them in a container, recycle them, melt them down into bubble-gum, and sell them to France."
"Why in moments of crisis do we ask God for strength and help? As cognitive beings, why would we ask something that may well be a figment of our imaginations for guidance? Why not search inside ourselves for the power to overcome? After all, we are strong enough to cause most of the catastrophes we need to endure."
"As someone who loves God, I was so offended by that. I don't think there needs to be religious dialogue on it. I just want coffee," said Incanno, who is Catholic.
The White House on Friday called the Senate's upcoming no-confidence vote over Attorney General Alberto Gonzales a "political stunt."
President Bush's support for his longtime ally and friend will not waver, said White House spokesman Tony Fratto.
Sen. Norm Coleman, R-Minn., on Thursday became the fifth Republican senator to demand that Gonzales leave. Meanwhile, Sen. Kit Bond, R-Mo., suggested that Bush consider ejecting Gonzales if he decides Gonzales is doing more harm than good.
Asked twice during a news conference Thursday whether he personally ordered Gonzales to Ashcroft's hospital room, Bush refused to answer. Fratto also refused to discuss the scene, or even to confirm that it happened.
Low-level disputes of this nature are commonplace in everyday government operation, and the point at which such a dispute becomes a constitutional crisis is difficult to define precisely. However, a good guideline is that a crisis occurs when one or more parties to the dispute refuses to recognize the right or power of another constitutional body to resolve or arbitrate the dispute.
Two brooms were hanging in the closet and after a while they got to know each other so well, they decided to get married.
One broom was, of course, the bride broom, the other the groom broom.
The bride broom looked very beautiful in her white dress. The groom broom was handsome and suave in his tuxedo. The wedding was lovely.
After the wedding, at the wedding dinner, the bride-broom leaned over and said to the groom-broom, "I think I am going to have a little whisk broom!!!"
"IMPOSSIBLE !!" said the groom broom.
[Are you ready for this?
Brace yourself; this is going to hurt.]
"WE HAVEN'T EVEN SWEPT TOGETHER!"
A judge ruled Tuesday that a high school student who sued after being disciplined and then mercilessly teased for using the phrase "That's so gay" is not entitled to monetary damages.
Sonoma County Superior Court Judge Elaine Rushing said she sympathized with 18-year-old Rebekah Rice for the ridicule she experienced at Maria Carrillo High School. But, the judge said, Rice's lawyers failed to prove that school administrators had violated any state laws or singled the girl out for punishment.
The case filed by Rice and her parents in 2003 brought widespread attention to a three-word phrase that some teenagers use to mean "stupid" or "uncool," but has come under attack as an insensitive insult to gay people.
- The evidence regarding Gonzales and his cronies is becoming more and more obvious but Czar George supports him and says he will continue to do so. [To top it off, Gonzales now is blaming McNulty, who just resigned, for the entire episode for firing the USA's, saying that McNulty was in charge of them - bottom line.]
- Tony Snow, the White House mouthpiece, today said Czar George supports Wolfowitz and doesn't think that anything he did was illegal.
- Czar George has now named himself another under-czar for War to oversee the various departments dealing with war and intelligence. This is on top of others such as the drug-czar.
- Being a self-proclaimed born-again he believes that he gets his direction and decision making powers from divine right with the backing and support of his own magisterium lead by his proconsuls Cheney & Rove.
- Czar George is demanding that he be given all the money he wants to contiue his surge with no strings attached and no guidance from the Congress and the wishes of the American electorate indicated as of November 2006.
- Every law that Czar George has inked included a myriad of signing statements that in effect said, "yes, but, given that I am Czar [sorry, President] I can decide to interpret the law this way or this way because I know better than the Congress."
- Czar George has only vetoed two, count 'em, two bills. All since the Democrats won control of Congress, with bi-partisan support, and over issues that the populace of the country is in favor. In addition, he has promised to veto H.R. 1592, the ENDA hate crimes bill, thus keeping dicrimination of segments of the citizenry in effect.
Self-sacrifice, Sacrifice, Devotion, Bound.
With the Hanged man there is often a sense of fatalism, waiting for something to happen. Or a fear of
loss from a situation, rather than gain.
The Hanged Man is perhaps the most fascinating card in the deck. It reflects the story of Odin who offered himself as a sacrifice in order to gain knowledge. Hanging from the world tree, wounded by a spear, given no bread or mead, he hung for nine days. On the last day, he saw on the ground runes that had fallen from the tree, understood their meaning, and, coming down, scooped them up for his own. All knowledge is to be found in these runes.
The Hanged Man, in similar fashion, is a card about suspension, not life or death. It signifies selflessness, sacrifice and prophecy. You make yourself vulnerable and in doing so, gain illumination. You see the world differently, with almost mystical insights.
What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.
parked his brand new Lexus in front of the office, ready to show it off to his colleagues.2. Little Johnny...
As he got out, a truck came along, too close to the curb, and completely tore off the driver's door of the Lexus.
The counselor immediately grabbed his cell phone, dialed 911, and it wasn't more than 5 minutes before a policeman pulled up.
Before the cop had a chance to ask any questions, the lawyer started screaming hysterically.
His Lexus, which he had just picked up the day before, was now completely ruined and would never be the same, no matter how the body shop tried to make it new again.
After the lawyer finally wound down from his rant, the cop shook his head in disgust and disbelief. "I can't believe how materialistic you lawyers are," he said. "You are so focused on your possessions that you neglect the most important things in life."
"How can you say such a thing?" asked the lawyer.
The cop replied, "My God, don't you even realize that your left arm is missing? It got ripped off when the truck hit you!!!"
"My God!" screamed the lawyer.
"Where's my Rolex?"
got on a bus and sat down next to a man. He noticed that the man had a strange kind of shirt collar, so he asked him, "Excuse me, sir, but why do you have your shirt collar on backwards?"3. the power of television commercials...
The man smiled kindly and answered, "I wear this collar because I am a father."
Little Johnny thought a second and responded, "Sir, I have a father, but he wears his collar the other way around. Why do you wear your collar so differently?"
The priest thought for a minute, and said, "I am the Father for many."
Little Johnny quickly answered, "My father, too, is the father of many. He has four sons, four daughters and many grandchildren. But he wears his collar like everyone else does. Why do you wear yours backwards?"
The priest, flustered, said impatiently, "I am the Father for hundreds and hundreds of people."
Little Johnny sat silently for a long time. As he got up to leave the bus, he leaned over to the priest and said, "Mister, maybe you should wear your pants backwards."
Two young boys walked into a pharmacy one day, picked out a box of Tampax and proceeded to the checkout counter.
The man at the counter asked the older boy, "Son, how old are you?"
"Eight", the boy replied.
The man continued, "Do you know how these are used?"
The boy replied, "Not exactly, but they aren't for me. They are for him. He's my brother. He's four. We saw on TV that if you use these you would be able to swim and ride a bike. He can't do either one.
Top Bush administration officials lashed out at a pair of House Republicans at the White House yesterday after details about a contentious meeting between President Bush and GOP legislators were leaked to the media earlier this week.and who were #1 & #2? Rove and Cheney. Rove, of course, was the more incendiary:
White House political adviser Karl Rove, furious that Republican moderates had divulged a confrontational meeting they had on Tuesday with Bush on the war, started yesterday with an angry conversation with the meeting's organizer, Rep. Mark Steven Kirk (R-Ill.), according to several GOP lawmakers. Washington Postso much for an unvarnished meeting...
The controversies surrounding Paul Wolfowitz and Alberto Gonzales present President Bush with a conundrum. On the one hand, the two embattled appointees are in obviously untenable positions--their attentions entirely focused on surviving rather than actually doing their jobs. Their continued presence atop the World Bank and Justice Department are dragging Bush's reputation even lower--no mean feat. On the other hand, Bush is famously loyal and particularly stubborn in the face of prodding by the Europeans, liberals, and media types who are calling for the two loyalists' scalps. In Bush's mind, the World Bank president and the attorney general may well represent walking, talking middle fingers [bold is mine] aimed directly at his snottiest critics.
So, what's a Decider to do? Doing nothing probably won't work, since the Bank's board could decide to give Wolfowitz the gate even without American permission, and since Congress may yet bust Gonzales on a lying charge (leading to the spectacle of the nation's chief lawman doing a perp walk). Luckily, there's an answer that could appeal to a bold president like Bush. It's a simple plan, something the chief executive may remember from the happier days when he ran the Texas Rangers: a trade. Wolfie goes to Justice, Gonzo goes to the Bank, and everyone goes home happy.Neither one of them has been doing their job well, so they really couldn't do any worse.
Matthew recorded his history teacher, David Paszkiewicz, making comments in class in September, including remarks that only Christians had a place in heaven, that the Big Bang and evolution theories were not scientific and that dinosaurs were on Noah’s Ark. After the tapes became public, Matthew received a death threat and was shunned and bullied by some of his classmates, he has said.The First Amendment has always been legally interpreted as not just establishing a religion but also fostering one. Inherent in this is also the right to not believe. Yet, that certain segment of the US population does not agree with this. They think that their way is the only way. not very christian of them...
Ray LaHood (Il)[Note: I can only find names for 10. The one other representative mentioned in news stories is John A. Boehner (Oh.) who is the Republican leader of the House. He's certainly not a moderate. If anyone can find the 11th, let me know, please.]
Rep. Jim Gerlach (Pa)
Tom Davis (Va.)
Charlie Dent (Pa)
Mark Kirk (Il)
Jo Ann Emerson (Mo)
Todd Platts (Pa)
Jim Ramstad (Minn)
Fred Upton (Mich)
Jim Walsh (N.Y.)
Yesterday at work a strange thing happened. In the morning I was called into the office by the person running this company. It seems that I had blogged about this company a week or so ago, all very positive about this company and my new position there. They had done a search and found this blog. Although he was nice about it, mentioning that I had alot of very personal things on my site, he left it at that and said it made him realize that they have to establish a policy for all employees in this company, when anyone chooses to use their name in blogs and a memo had just gone out to everyone with these new policy procedures.ENDA has to be expanded to include ALL groups and individuals. It is the only way that "freedom and the pursuit" of happiness can be achieved from the struggles for US Constitution, the Bill of Rights and The Rights of Man.
Later that day, they fired my ass. Hummm....guess they couldn't handle having their name being associated in any way with a gay oriented website. "Wierd Coincidence...or what," The Adventures of Ken
An Amish woman was driving her buggy to town when a highway patrol officer stopped her.think the American car makers could think outside the box like this?
"I'm not going to cite you," said the officer. "I just wanted to warn you that the reflector on the back of your buggy is broken and it could be dangerous."
"I thank thee," replied the Amish lady. "I shall have my husband repair it as soon as I return home."
"Also," said the officer, "I noticed one of your reins to your horse are rapped around his testicles. Some people might consider this cruelty to animals, so you should have your husband check that, too."
"Again I thank thee. I shall have my husband check both when I get home."
True to her word, when the Amish lady got home she told her husband about the broken reflector, and he said he would put a new one on it immediately.
"Also," said the Amish woman, "The policeman said there was something wrong with the emergency brake."
Here is some sound logic.
Recently a guy picked a new primary care doctor. After two visits and exhaustive lab tests, the doctor said the guy was doing "fairly well" for his age.
A little concerned about that comment, he couldn't resist asking him, "Do you think I'll live to be 80?"
The doctor asked, "Do you smoke tobacco, or drink beer or wine?"
"Oh no," he replied. "I'm not doing drugs, either."
Then he asked, "Do you eat rib-eye steaks and barbecued ribs?"
The guy said, "No, my former doctor said that all red meat is very unhealthy!"
"Do you spend a lot of time in the sun, like playing golf, sailing, hiking, or bicycling?"
"No, I don't," he said.
The doctor then asked, "Do you gamble, drive fast cars, or have a lot of sex?"
"No," he said. "I don't do any of those things."
The doctor looked at him and said, "Then, why do you care?"
I will never forget it you know. I met my girlfriend Clementine on the street the other day and her left breast was hanging out of her shirt. I said, "Clemintine, your left breast is hanging our of your shirt." She said, "Oh, the baby must still be on the bus!"and when Clementine is not around to keep and eye on her...
I will never forget it you know, my girlfriend Clementine goes on retreat once a year. She goes up north to Little Sisters of Unbearable Chastity. Once while she was up there, she discovered she had a spiritual power, a power for healing. It wasn't long before the entire retreat was over run by those seeking to be healed by Clementine. One time Clementine was in the shower naked and soapy. There was a knock at the door. A large nun walked in. "Clementine, come out of the shower girl. There's a blind man outdoors to see ya, he's come a long way, he's got something important to say to ya." "Sister!", says Clementine "Look, at me I'm naked I'm soapy I'm in the shower!! I cannot receive anyone in this condition!" "Oh Clementine be a sport, he's a blind man he's come a long way he's got something important to say to ya." "Oh very well", says Clementine "Show him in." So the door opens and the blind man walks in. He says "Nice tits where do want the blinds?"
I will never forget it you know. My girlfriend Clemintine is a filthy, vulgar ol' broad. She loves to keep me abreast of all the latest in filthy rotten jokes and filthy rotten songs. She rang me up the other day and said to me, "Soph, listen to this one. You've never heard anything like it. What do you get when you cross a donkey with an onion?" I said to her, "I have no idea what the hell do you get?" She said, "Usually you get an onion with really long ears. But occasionally when the stars are just right, you get a piece of ass that's so nice it makes you want to cry!"
I will never forget it you know. You know that Clemintine she's a rascal you know. She loves to fix me up with these exotic-type fellows. The other day she called me up and said "Soph I gotta live one for ya' this time." I said, "Send him over Clemintine." Twenty minutes later the doorbell rang and I opened the door and there was a man there with no arms and no legs. I said to him "What the hell do you think you're going to do?" He said "I rang the doorbell didn't I?"
I will never forget it you know, my girlfriend Clemintine in the height of her profession was a great great stripper, but she hated it so violently that she would have to run to confession in between shows. One day she completely forgot to put her shirt back on and she went into the church, nipples to the wind. A young priest stopped her and said, "Madam you cannot come into the House of the Lord in that fashion." "But I have a divine right," Clemintine said. "Okay, your breasts ain't bad but you better cover your head," the priest said. Well, after confessoin Clementine was walking back and she slipped on a banana peel, her dress got caught on a nail then completely unraveleed as she fell down a flight of stairs. There she lay, quite, quite naked and quite comotose. A passing motorcyclist took pity upon her plight and put his crash helmet over her exposed groin. Then the doctor came and took a long look at her and said "We'll put her in the ambulance, but first we gotta get that cop outta there!"
I will never forget it you know.words of the Divine Ms. M
I was terribly drunk the other night.
I woke up and there
was an elephant in my bed. I said,
"Lord have mercy I must've
been tight last night." "Well,"
said the elephant, "kinda."
Some PBS stations are reportedly set to air a three-part BBC series entitled “A Brief History of Disbelief” which seeks to “uncover the hidden story of atheism.”If their belief is strong and true, what are they worried about? Is this just more proof that they want everyone to believe ONLY what they believe?
Not surprisingly, the Right doesn’t like it at all:Janice Crouse, director of the Beverly LaHaye Institute for the conservative group Concerned Women for America, told Cybercast News Service that "airing the program gives credibility and cohesiveness to individuals who seek to undermine the beliefs and values on which democracy and the American dream are founded."Perhaps Crouse is not the best judge of what is or is not “dispassionate” considering that Beverly LaHaye, the namesake of the institute which Crouse heads, believes that “Christian values should dominate our government. The test of those values is the Bible. Politicians who do not use the Bible to guide their public and private lives do not belong in office.” And when it comes to demagogic, it’s hard to top this: “In recent times, Western Civilization has willingly chosen to exchange the faith and logic of a Biblical worldview for an irrational secularism based on an unthinking and cruel relativism. This foolish exchange is at the root of the glaring injustices of modern American public policy.” God Forbid, People for the American Way
"One has to wonder why it is so important to them for everyone to understand their 'disbelief,'" she said. "The program is not a dispassionate, positive voice - as they claim. Instead, it is clearly demagogic and propagandistic."
Bike Riding.....Just 5 Miles A Day
Don't you think it's time we all became more physically active?
Beginning in 2007, a few friends started riding 5 miles every day.
If any of you would like to join the Bike Club, please let us know and we can make arrangements.
We think it would be appropriate to ride somewhere between 4:00 and 7:00 pm. We can call it... happy hour, if it will make you say yes.
The photo of the bike is below -
WASHINGTON, May 3 — Senator Hillary Rodham Clinton proposed Thursday that Congress repeal the authority it gave President Bush in 2002 to invade Iraq, injecting presidential politics into the Congressional debate over financing the war.Yes, it's a political ploy, but it just might be something that more politicos could get behind. There might not be so much debate of funding the military and protecting them. This would be the ultimate protection for them.
Mrs. Clinton’s proposal brings her full circle on Iraq — she supported the war measure five years ago — and it sharpens her own political positioning at a time when Democrats are vying to confront the White House.
“It is time to reverse the failed policies of President Bush and to end this war as soon as possible,” Mrs. Clinton said as she joined Senator Robert C. Byrd, Democrat of West Virginia, in calling for a vote to end the authority as of Oct. 11, the fifth anniversary of the original vote. New York Times, May 3, 2007
The House of Representatives voted on Thursday to extend hate-crime protection to people who are victimized because of their sexuality. But the most immediate effect may be to set up another veto showdown between Democrats and President Bush.It's about time, but it's still limiting. There are still groups left out. Actually, it leaves many, many groups left out. The wingnuts were working in full force, totally frustrated and irritated that they were going to lose the House vote.
By 237 to 180, the House voted to cover crimes spurred by a victim’s “gender, sexual orientation, gender identity” or disability under the hate-crime designation, which currently applies to people who are attacked because of their race, religion, color or national origin.
Moreover, the bill’s proposed section 249(a)(1) of title 18 of the U.S. Code raises constitutional concerns. Federalization of criminal law concerning the violence prohibited by the bill would be constitutional only if done in the implementation of a power granted to the Federal government, such as the power to protect Federal personnel, to regulate interstate commerce, or to enforce equal protection of the laws. Section 249(a)(1) is not by its terms limited to the exercise of such a power, and it is not at all clear that sufficient factual or legal grounds exist to uphold this...Power granted to the Federal government... to enforce equal protection of the laws...? If this is true, equal in whose eyes? And if legitimate power, then why, pray tell, is there a Federal Hate Crimes law on the books that protects special groups, eg. religious fundies, to begin with? Aren't they saying that the original bill is unconstitutional also? Has anyone taken it to court? I couldn't find any rulings. Is this a signing statement in reverse?
provision of H.R. 1592.
[Complete advisory here: Statement of Administration Policy]
We the People of the United States, in Order to form a more perfect Union, establish Justice, insure domestic Tranquility, provide for the common defence, promote the general Welfare, and secure the Blessings of Liberty to ourselves and our Posterity, do ordain and establish this Constitution for the United States of America.The words "exclude" or "exclusion" appear nowhere in the document. There are no exceptions to the law explained anywhere.
We know what happened in 13 seconds. Ohio National Guardsmen opened fire on Kent State University in Ohio....I sat in numb disbelief at the words I was hearing, especially having had Kent State in my head just a couple of days before this.
"...GET SET... POINT... FIRE... (GUN SHOTS)"For the last 37 years it has been believed that the guardsmen panicked and fired at random. They were acquitted and the families of the slain and injured students accepted the verdict and moved on with their lives.
A professor at CCNY for a psych class told his class about bananas. He said the expression "going bananas" is from the effects of bananas on the brain.Never, put your banana in the refrigerator! [When cold, bananas decay from the inside out and they don't ripen they turn black.] You should use a silly little thing like a banana hammock
This is interesting. After reading this, you may never look at a banana in the same way again.
Read on:
Bananas contain three natural sugars - sucrose, fructose and glucose combined with fiber. A banana gives an instant, sustained and substantial boost of energy.
Research has proven that just two bananas provide enough energy for a strenuous 90-minute workout. No wonder the banana is the number one fruit with the world's leading athletes.
But energy isn't the only way a banana can help us keep fit. It can also help overcome or prevent a substantial number of illnesses and conditions, making it a must to add to our daily diet.
Depression: According to a recent survey undertaken by MIND amongst people suffering from depression, many felt much better after eating a banana. This is because bananas contain tryptophan, a type of protein that the body converts into serotonin, known to make you relax, improve your mood and generally make you feel happier.
PMS: Forget the pills - eat a banana. The vitamin B6 it contains regulates blood glucose levels, which can affect your mood.
Anemia: High in iron, bananas can stimulate the production of hemoglobin in the blood and so helps in cases of anemia.
Blood Pressure: This unique tropical fruit is extremely high in potassium yet low in salt, making it perfect to beat blood pressure. So much so, the US Food and Drug Administration has just allowed the banana industry to make official claims for the fruit's ability to reduce the risk of blood pressure and stroke.
Brain Power: 200 students at a Twickenham (Middlesex) school (England) were helped through their exams this year by eating bananas at breakfast, break, and lunch in a bid to boost their brain power. Research has shown that the potassium-packed fruit can assist learning by making pupils more alert.
Constipation: High in fiber, including bananas in the diet can help restore normal bowel action, helping to overcome the problem without resorting to laxatives.
Hangovers: One of the quickest ways of curing a hangover is to make a banana milkshake, sweetened with honey. The banana calms the stomach and, with the help of the honey, builds up depleted blood sugar levels, while the milk soothes and re-hydrates your system.
Heartburn: Bananas have a natural antacid effect in the body, so if you suffer from heartburn, try eating a banana for soothing relief.
Morning Sickness: Snacking on bananas between meals helps to keep blood sugar levels up and avoid morning sickness.
Mosquito bites: Before reaching for the insect bite cream, try rubbing the affected area with the inside of a banana skin. Many people find it amazingly successful at reducing swelling and irritation.
Nerves: Bananas are high in B vitamins that help calm the nervous system.
Overweight and at work? Studies at the Institute of Psychology in Austria found pressure at work leads to gorging on comfort food like chocolate and chips. Looking at 5,000 hospital patients, researchers found the most obese were more likely to be in high-pressure jobs. The report concluded that, to avoid panic-induced food cravings, we need to control our blood sugar levels by snacking on high carbohydrate foods every two hours to keep levels steady.
Ulcers: The banana is used as the dietary food against intestinal disorders because of its soft texture and smoothness. It is the only raw fruit that can be eaten without distress in over-chronic cases. It also neutralizes over-acidity and reduces irritation by coating the lining of the stomach.
Temperature control: Many other cultures see bananas as a "cooling" fruit that can lower both the physical and emotional temperature of expectant mothers. In Thailand , for example, pregnant women eat bananas to ensure their baby is born with a cool temperature.
Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD): Bananas can help SAD sufferers because they contain the natural mood enhancer tryptophan.
Smoking & Tobacco Use: Bananas can also help people trying to give up smoking. The B6, B12 they contain, as well as the potassium and magnesium found in them, help the body recover from the effects of nicotine withdrawal.
Stress: Potassium is a vital mineral, which helps normalize the heartbeat, sends oxygen to the brain and regulates your body's water balance. When we are stressed, our metabolic rate rises, thereby reducing our potassium levels. These can be rebalanced with the help of a high-potassium banana snack.
Strokes: According to research in The New England Journal of Medicine, eating bananas as part of a regular diet can cut the risk of death by strokes by as much as 40%!
Warts: Those keen on natural alternatives swear that if you want to kill off a wart, take a piece of banana skin and place it on the wart, with the yellow side out. Carefully hold the skin in place with a plaster or surgical tape!
So, a banana really is a natural remedy for many ills. When you compare it to an apple, it has four times the protein, twice the carbohydrate, three times the phosphorus, five times the vitamin A and iron, and twice the other vitamins and minerals. It is also rich in potassium and is one of the best value foods around So maybe its time to change that well-known phrase so that we say, "A banana a day keeps the doctor away!"
PASS IT ON TO YOUR FRIENDS
PS: Bananas must be the reason monkeys are so happy all the time!
I will add one here; want a quick shine on our shoes?? Take the INSIDE of the banana skin, and rub directly on the shoe...polish with dry cloth. Amazing fruit !!!