03 February 2005

nothing better to do...? part IV

Do male nipples prove evolution? Not at all, according to a Web site for a planned Creation Museum devoted to showing that the Bible is literally true.

Inherit the Windbags, Published: February 3, 2005, New York Times Maureen Dowd
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I never thought about it that way. What about the fetus not having a sex until a certain amount of growth has occurred in utero? Do the nipple come first, before sex is determined? If they do, then wouldn't that mean that nipples are part of an evolutionary plan?

No, no. I don't know what I'm talking about. The Bible explains everything.

Nipples may be biologically de trop for men, an "expert" on the site notes, but that doesn't mean they resulted from natural selection. They could just as well be a decorating feature of the Creator's (like a hood ornament). Who are we to question His designs, since we cannot presume to comprehend His mind?

Hood ornaments? Then why are they excitable? If my nipples get pinched, it sends a "chill" all the way to my groin! Enough about nipples. [Well, for now.] There are other more important things to consider. Like, dinasaurs!

The virtual tour of the museum, to be built in rural Kentucky, says its exhibits will explain many such mysteries, like the claim that T. rex lurked around Adam and Eve - "That's the terror that Adam's sin unleashed!"

Eating an apple caused the start of dinasaurs? Actually, I heard once that it wasn't an apple but that they discovered sex. Wait, then they had kids. Their kids had kids too. Wait, who did they have kids with?

If, according to Genesis, they were the first people (literal reading of the Bible), doesn't that mean that their kids had to have sex with each other? That's incest!!!

I think I better get to that museum before it's too late. After all, I have

nothing better to do...

1 comment:

Aethlos said...

i love ms. dowd