monday morning mayhem...

what i've learned...







Maxx, did you see this?






i knew Tom would love it.
besides, he can run faster than Maxx...



and to start the workweek...



checking to see if you give a fuck about anything today .....













Nope.
Barely moved.
Keep up the good work!

weekender...

the Chippendales then...





and now...











no comment from Maxx on this one;
he couldn't stop laughing...
bitch!

Confucious say: Man who scratch butt should not bite fingernails.

SCOTUS & the pro-Prop 8 gang...

SCOTUS last week stopped a federal judge from taping and broadcasting to other judicial venues the Bois-Olson trial contesting the results of Prop 8.

one of the arguments they used agreed with the pro-Prop 8 gang that their lives could be interrupted and they could be threatened from the queer activists if their testimony were to be shown live. never mind that there is a court recorder in the room and the entire trial transcript will be available sometime in the future.

[you can follow the news and the trial at American Foundation for Equal Rights.]

on of these "testifiers", a christianist minister publicly and very loudly dropped out.

but can anyone come up with matches to these headlines regarding lgbtq people who are asking only to be treated equal to everyone else with the christianists who are not very christian?


VANDALS SLASH TIRES OF TWO DOZEN CARS AT GAY ORLANDO NIGHTCLUB

RHODE ISLAND GAY MAN'S BUSINESS TARGETED: 'FAGGOTS HAVE NO RIGHTS'


D.C. Jail guards accused of beating gay inmate

just these three are from Towleroad and DC Agenda over the last couple of days!

how many others have we seen over the years? how long did it take to pass the Matthew Shepard Act? how many more lgbtq are going to be beaten? raped? killed?

the proponents of Prop 8 have made themselves the victims when they, in fact, are the perpetrators of violence and crime and hate all in the name of a myth that clearly espouses loving your neighbor more than yourself.

i have a sense that their Jesus would now refuse to die for their sins...

monday morning mayhem...

ummmm, just watch this...











be careful skydiving...


A Blonde is watching the news with her husband when the newscaster says "Two Brazilian men die in a skydiving accident."

The blonde starts crying to her husband, sobbing "That's horrible!!! So many men dying that way!"

Confused, he says, "Yes dear, it is sad, but they were skydiving, and there is always that risk involved."

After a few minutes, the blonde, still sobbing, says, "How many is a brazilian?"





with spring right around the corner...


it's time to start thinking about your garden. here are some questions about one choice from Allisonville Nursery in Indiana you could plant - not sure if plant is the right word to use though...


Do they bloom???

I wonder if they come in different colors?

I wonder about the fragrance?

I wonder if it would help to put those preservative packets in the water?

I wonder if they bloom?

I wonder whether they would look better on the kitchen table or in the entry?

I wonder if they're cheaper by the dozen?

I wonder if they come in long-stemmed?

I wonder if they bloom?







any more questions?

weekender...

Maxx decided that there shouldn't be a weekender today.

there is really nothing funny after what happened not only in Haiti but with the responses from certain characters like Robertson and Limbaugh who use the misfortune of others as reason to espouse lies and further their hypocritical and insidious agendas.

try and have a good weekend...

Pascal's Wager...

..."God is, or He is not."
Blaise Pascal's Pensees

you cannot determine either by reason.

therefore you have to take a leap of faith or place a wager...

what are the possible consequences?

if you believe there is a god and there is, you then reap the rewards that the mythology promises;

if you believe there is no god, and there isn't, you lose nothing;

if you believe there is no god, and you are wrong and there is, you suffer all of the horrors the mythology forecasts;


of course, there is Richard Dawkins' anti-Pascal Wager -

"Suppose we grant that there is indeed some small chance that God exists. Nevertheless, it could be said that you will lead a better, fuller life if you bet on his not existing, than if you bet on his existing and therefore squander your precious time on worshipping him, sacrificing to him, fighting and dying for him, etc."

from The God Delusion by Richard Dawkins

however, no one will make any odds available...


now, not to waste Pascal's thinking, it is responsible for four really important things: 1) charted new territory in probability theory; 2) one of the first attempts at using the idea of infinity; 3) the first use of decision theory; and 4) made possible the future philosophy of pragmatism.

not bad for a non-betting man...

my wager?

i prefer playing the ponies...



Pascal's Wager - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

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monday morning mayhem...

and they want to update to computerized medical records?

These are sentences actually typed by Medical secretaries in patients records.........

1. The patient has no previous history of suicides.

2. Patient has left her white blood cells at another hospital.

3. Patient's medical history has been remarkably insignificant with only a 40 pound weight gain in the past three days.

4. She has no rigours or shaking chills, but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night.

5. Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.

6. On the second day the knee was better and on the third day it disappeared.

7. The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed.

8. The patient has been depressed since she began seeing me in 1993.

9. Discharge status: - Alive, but without my permission.

10. Healthy appearing decrepit 69-year old male, mentally alert, but forgetful.

11. Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.

12. She is numb from her toes down.

13. While in ER, she was examined, x-rated and sent home.

14. The skin was moist and dry.

15. Occasional, constant infrequent headaches.

16. Patient was alert and unresponsive.

17. Rectal examination revealed a normal size thyroid.

18. She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life, until she got a divorce.

19. I saw your patient today, who is still under our care for physical therapy.

20. Both breasts are equal and reactive to light and accommodation.

21 Examination of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized.

22. The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.

23. Skin: somewhat pale, but present.

24. The pelvic exam will be done later on the floor.

25. Large brown stool ambulating in the hall.

26. Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities.

27. When she fainted, her eyes rolled around the room.

28. The patient was in his usual state of good health until his airplane ran out of fuel and crashed.

29. Between you and me, we ought to be able to get this lady pregnant.

30. She slipped on the ice and apparently her legs went in separate directions in early December.

31. Patient was seen in consultation by Dr. Smith who felt we should sit on the abdomen, and I agree.

32. The patient was to have a bowel resection. However, he took a job as a stock broker instead.

33. By the time he was admitted, his rapid heart had stopped, and he was feeling better.

Stay away from hospitals!


swine flu worries...


I'm not really concerned about swine flu. Here's my concern:


3 years ago, Chinese calendar year of the cow... Mad Cow disease.


2 years ago, Chinese calendar year of the bird... Avian Flu.


This year.Chinese calendar year of the pig... Swine Flu.


Next year is the year of the cock... ANYBODY ELSE WORRIED?

or

REALLY LOOKING FORWARD TO IT?

the Facebook experiment...

so it's been a couple few months since i joined Facebook. it's been interesting, but it lacks something.

it lacks any intimacy in the form of familiarity or real friendship.

it's selective much on the order of high school cliques.

i had hoped that it would lead to insight into things going on in the world by becoming "friends" with certain people.

it worked in some cases, and in others it was superficial at best.

there are dedicated people who use it as a clearinghouse, but even they lessen their comments and that leaves one to question what is the motivation behind their comments and posts.

i was even "unfriended" [the 2009 word of the year] by one of my personal friends because she found my posts to be depressing because i dealt with issues of people in pain and in positions where they were being either physically or mentally harmed and i questioned why no one really does anything about it.

i've thought about deactivating my account, but i'm going to keep it and follow some more. plus, i really did meet some very neat people on FB and would like to stay in contact with them.

we'll see...

weekender & monday morning mayhem.. best of 2009

i've spent the last week going over all of the weekender's and monday morning mayhem's to decide THE BEST OF 2009...

well, it really was a no brainer. not only is it Maxx's favorite all time joke but it's one that should go down in the history books.

re-enjoy...


Maxx's all time favorite joke...

Dinner party for 8 - $250 ...

Wine for guests - $80...

Your parents are there...

Your in-laws are there...

Your boss and his wife are there...

The minister and his wife are there...

You're all settling down for a nice relaxing evening dinner...

Then...

In...

Walks...

The...

Dog...

yes, he piddled a little when he saw this...


he actually piddles every time he even thinks about it...

monday morning mayhem...

so, a guy walks into a bar...


stop me if you've heard this one -


A guy walks into a bar down in Kentucky and orders a white wine. All the hillbillies sitting around the bar look up, expecting to see some pitiful Yankee from The North.

The bartender says, "You ain't from around here, are ya?"

The guy says, "No, I'm from Ohio."

The bartender says, "What do you do in Ohio?"

The guy says, "I'm a taxidermist."

The bartender says, "A taxidermist? What in 'tarnation' is a taxidermist? Do you drive a taxi?"

"No, a taxidermist doesn't drive a taxi. I mount animals."

The bartender grins and hollers, "It's okay boys. He's one of us."






getting old...


Two elderly ladies are sitting on the front porch in Bonita Springs, doing nothing.

One lady turns and asks, 'Do you still get horny?'

The other replies, 'Oh sure I do.'

The first old lady asks, 'What do you do about it?'

The second old lady replies, 'I suck a lifesaver.'

After a few moments, the first old lady asks, 'Who drives you to the beach?'





Confucius say,
if you can't find the book you want


you probably shopping at the

2010...

2010 will be the best yet...



from all of us













last, and not least - or so he thinks - Maxx...







and me...


mike/