30 November 2009

monday morning mayhem...

you KNOW you are going to try these when you get to work...

keyboard



'Stewardesses' is the longest word typed with only the left hand.

and 'lollipop' is the longest word typed with your right hand

The sentence: 'The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog.' uses every letter of the alphabet.

'TYPEWRITER' is the longest word that can be made using the letters only on one row of the keyboard.

The average person's left hand does 56% of the typing.




should a three-year-old watch childbirth?

Due to a power outage, only one paramedic responded to the call.

The house was very dark so the paramedic asked Kathleen, a 3-yr old girl to hold a flashlight high over her mommy, so he could see while he helped deliver the baby.

Very diligently, Kathleen did as she was asked.

Heidi pushed and pushed and after a little while, Connor was born.

The paramedic lifted him by his little feet and spanked him on his bottom. Connor began to cry. The paramedic then thanked Kathleen for her help, and asked the wide-eyed 3-yr old what she thought, about what she had just witnessed.

Kathleen quickly responded, "He shouldn't have crawled in there in the first place... Smack his ass again!"



Maxx's all time favorite joke...

Dinner party for 8 - $250 ...

Wine for guests - $80...

Your parents are there...

Your in-laws are there...

Your boss and his wife are there...

The minister and his wife are there...

You're all settling down for a nice relaxing evening dinner...



Then...

In...

Walks...

The...

Dog...




in walks the dog


Hysterical Dog.gif
yes, he piddled a little when he saw this...

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