and now it's getting better...

From a previous What's Going On Here post of March 20, 2007:

Senate limits Gonzales' hiring authority
The Senate voted overwhelmingly Tuesday to end the Bush administration's ability to unilaterally fill U.S. attorney vacancies as a backlash to Attorney General Alberto Gonzales' firing of eight federal prosecutors...

...the Senate by a 94-2 vote passed a bill that would cancel the attorney general's power to appoint U.S. attorneys without Senate confirmation.

94 - 2!

Essentially, the Senate returned the law regarding the appointments of U.S. attorneys to where it was before Congress passed the Patriot Act, including the unilateral appointment authority the administration had sought in the wake of the 9/11 terror attacks.

AND NOW

The House of Representatives today followed the Senate's 94-2 vote with their own vote of

329 -78!

By a 329-78 vote, the House today followed the Senate in passing legislation that repeals a Patriot Act provision “that grants the Attorney General the authority to make indefinite interim appointments of U.S. Attorneys, who can then serve indefinitely without Senate confirmation.” House votes to strip U.S. Attorney provision

This means that it is veto proof. the sucker will probably try some little trick. He can't use the pocket veto but he may just not bother to sign it thus allowing it to quietly become law.

Now, if we add to this that some of the Republican elite are now starting to say the I word [impeach] and we may have the beginning of sanity...

and it keeps getting worse...

and worse and worse...

As if the USA firings aren't enough, now comes word from a former Justice Department lawyer that the tobacco industry lawsuit was politicized with interference from Bush appointees ordering that the team change its strategies and instruct witnesses how to testify. The cost: $120,000,000,000! The Washington Post reports:

The leader of the Justice Department team that prosecuted a landmark lawsuit against tobacco companies said yesterday that Bush administration political appointees repeatedly ordered her to take steps that weakened the government's racketeering case.

Sharon Y. Eubanks said Bush loyalists in Attorney General Alberto R. Gonzales's office began micromanaging the team's strategy in the final weeks of the 2005 trial, to the detriment of the government's claim that the industry had conspired to lie to U.S. smokers.

She said a supervisor demanded that she and her trial team drop recommendations that tobacco executives be removed from their corporate positions as a possible penalty. He and two others instructed her to tell key witnesses to change their testimony. And they ordered Eubanks to read verbatim a closing argument they had rewritten for her, she said.

"The political people were pushing the buttons and ordering us to say what we said," Eubanks said. "And because of that, we failed to zealously represent the interests of the American public."

and she named names. Check out the full article with the appointees' names here: Prosecutor Says Bush Appointees Interfered With Tobacco Case.

Of course, the Bushies are in full denial.

High-ranking Justice Department officials said there was no political meddling in the case, and the department's Office of Professional Responsibility (OPR) concurred after an investigation.

If you believe that, there is still a bridge in New York that is for sale...

i've said it before and i'll say it again...

Impeach the bastard!!

and i will now add...

More Supeanas!!

and...

FIRE GONZALES!!

off again...

first thing in the morning. here's more than a hint as to where:



we have tickets for the cirque du soliel's new show, the beatle's love. it's based on their music.

would love to try to get tickets for the producers just to see david hasselhoff as roger debris, the drag queen director. it's supposedly more difficult than getting celine dion tickets. and to think, david hasselhoff always hated being shown from the waste down on baywatch because he thought his legs were too skinny? [they are.] wouldn't that just blow your skirt up?

this retirement business, so far, is fun...

i wonder why?

monday morning mayhem...

because we just need to start the week in a positive way - laughing.

1. The High School Guy

Have you ever been guilty of looking at others your own age and thinking, "Surely I can't look that old?" Well... you'll love this one!

I was sitting in the waiting room for my first appointment with a new dentist.

I noticed his DDS diploma, which bore his full name. Suddenly, I remembered that a tall, handsome, dark-haired boy with the same name had been in my high school class some 40-odd years ago. Could he be the same guy that I had a secret crush on, way back then?

Upon seeing him, however, I quickly discarded any such thought. This balding, gray-haired man with the deeply lined face was way too old to have been my class mate. or could he?

After he examined my teeth, I asked him if he had attended Morgan Park High School.

"Yes! Yes, I did! I'm a mustang," he gleamed with pride.

"When did you graduate?" I asked.

He answered, "In 1959. Why do you ask?"

"You were in my class!" I exclaimed.

He looked at me closely. Then, that ugly, old, wrinkled, bald, fat, gray, decrepit son-of-a-xxxx asked, ....................

"What did you teach?"

2. please listen carefully. Our menu has recently changed...

Click To Play

3. scam artist alert

Watch out for this scam.

There is a slick routine aimed at stealing from unwary persons. They say that the gang usually comprises three or four members. While the three younger ones, all appearing to be cute and innocent, divert their "mark" (or intended target) with a show of friendliness and fun, the fourth - the eldest of this gang of criminals - sneaks in from behind the person's back to expertly rifle undetected through pockets and bags for any valuables being carried.

The picture below, taken from CTV operating in the inner city, shows the Gang in operation.

4. Three Old Ladies at the Ball Game

This is a detective story so pay close attention!!!

Three elderly ladies are excited about seeing their first Cubs baseball game. They smuggle a bottle of Jack Daniel's into the ballpark. The game is real exciting and they are enjoying themselves immensely, while mixing the Jack Daniel's with soft drinks. Soon they realize that the bottle is almost gone and the game has a lot of innings to go.

Based on the given information, what inning is it and how many players are on base?






Think!








Think some more!!









You're gonna love it...








Answer: It's the bottom of the fifth and the bags are loaded........

that reminds me of the joke that allegedly helped get Dick Biondi kicked off the radio in Chicago during the 60's...

So, I took my girlfriend to the Sox game. I made a deal with her that I would kiss her on the strikes and she would kiss me on the balls.

We sure have come a long way. Think of Howard Stern

reality...

Can we be seeing the result of all those faux-reality shows playing a part in western culture?

WHEN confronted with the prickly question of whether to disclose their illnesses, Presidents Calvin Coolidge, Woodrow Wilson, Franklin D. Roosevelt and John F. Kennedy divined a simple strategy, historians say. They dissembled. They lied. They covered up or simply kept their mouths shut to keep Americans in the dark. Revealing All Before Anyone Else Can, New York Times, March 25, 2007

Thrity-five years ago, Sen. Thomas Eagleton, then Democratic vice-presidential candidate, admitted that he had been treated for depression. He was forced to withdraw his candidacy.

Now, Sen. John Edwards and his wife call a press conference to announce that her cancer is back and is malignant. They are going to continue with his campaign for president.

V. P. Al Gore talks about his bouts with depression and no one really bats an eye. Hell, with the tragic death of his son and the stupid loss of the presidency in 2001, who wouldn't be depressed.

Rep. Patrick Kennedy goes into rehab. Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid announces that his father committed suicide and he had to deal with it for many years. The top three Republican presidential candidates have been married 8 times between them and if Newt decides to run it will be more - not to mention the adultery going along with it. So what's with the change in Americans' acceptance?

As much as I prefer him over the yahoo in the office now, I think that Bill Clinton directly had a lot to do with this phenomenon, rather than those reality shows. Bill Clinton had excapades in a little closet off of the Oval Office and the Republicans impeached him. It was no-holds barred in the news coverage because the right wing-nut christianists delighted in their hatred of the man and used every opportunity to impugn him. To this day, I am not really certain where their hatred comes from and it is stealthly being transferred to his wife and her bid for the office, in addition to the reasons they have to hate Hillary herself. Real or imagined.

I think that most everyone, at least those with any common sense, has come to the awareness that the reality shows they are bombarded with are, in fact, orchestrated and scripted. I don't watch American Idol, but I have seen Sanjaya's last performance on Olbermann and the internet and I can't imagine [what am I saying? Yes, I can] a worse onslaught to my ears. Sadly, I can hear perfect pitch and he was worse than, than... Andrea Bocelli could ever be. [Now, that statement can cause me a lot of trouble.]

So, maybe what is happening is a blurring of what reality actually is. I think that Robin Williams in one of his best bits said it best...

reality. what a concept...

hhhmmm...

an even bigger problem...
[I just realized that is a pun. keep reading.]

The USC Annenberg Online Journalism Review is reporting on how Eyetracking points the way to effective news article design. In brief, it talks about how news design can influence where readers will cast their eyes on a page.

Eye tracking as a part of science has been around since the 1800's.

Eye tracking is a general term for research using techniques for measuring either the point of gaze ("where we are looking") or the motion of the eye itself relative to the head. There exist a number of different methods for measuring the movements of the eyes

To summarize the article and research used:

Coyne (who we interviewed for this column) stresses that crucial to understanding the testing results is an awareness of the user’s motivation or goal behind each task. Some of the testing scenarios included asking the user to "read the news" or "read/learn", making a number these results particularly helpful to journalists. She said eyetracking is valuable in these cases because it indicates not only where our users look, but where key usability problems exist.

"[With eyetracking] we can see that a user may navigate the page of an interface that houses the info she wants," she said, "but if the text is poorly presented, or the navigation is cluttered, or there are too many superfluous images so she cannot easily find what she needs. This is a lost opportunity."

All this seems innocuous enough. However, there were three parts to the research used and the third one can cause a problem for some people.

Conyne recommends designers avoid the generic pictures that are often used just for the sake of having a picture.

"For example," she said, "if an article is about a signature meal at a restaurant, say a tuna dish, display a scrumptious-looking picture of the plate of food. Don't show a generic picture of a spoon and fork, as many sites do."

When photos do contain people related to the task at hand, or the content users are exploring, they do get fixations. However, gender makes a distinct difference on what parts of the photo are stared at the longest. Take a look at the hotspot below.

Although both men and women look at the image of George Brett when directed to find out information about his sport and position, men tend to focus on private anatomy as well as the face. For the women, the face is the only place they viewed.



This image of George Brett was part of a larger page with his biographical information. All users tested looked at the image, but there was a distinct difference in focus between men and women.

Coyne adds that this difference doesn’t just occur with images of people. Men tend to fixate more on areas of private anatomy on animals as well, as evidenced when users were directed to browse the American Kennel Club site.

what is the title of that book...? Oh, yeah - Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus

but wait, wait... men look at crotches and women don't? okay, that makes sense for the women. but, but... what does that mean for the straight male?

hhhmmm...

just asking...

hhhmmm...

The christianists have a problem down there.

Inkling Magazine reports that scientists have discovered, through DNA testing, that human body lice [pediculosis] have a common ancestor in the body lice on gorillas.

Research from the Florida Museum of Natural History revealed that gorillas gave us pubic lice millions of years ago, and left us playing itchy host to them ever since.

The pubic louse parasite, Phthirius pubis, lives in pubic hair and other hairy parts of the body. It sucks blood and can’t survive for long without a host.

That's pubic hair as in down there.

Now, it is not to be confused with head lice that will not go down there.

The only hairy body part that pubic lice avoid is the head, where the bloodsucking-pest niche is occupied by another louse, Pediculus humanus capitis.

So that leads to a very interesting question. How exactly did humans get the very same body lice of gorillas?

The scientists at the Florida Museum of Natural History have come up with three possible ways.

Reed and his colleagues came up with three scenarios under which pubic lice could have migrated over from gorillas to colonize the ancestral human crotch, all of which are, in varying degrees, degenerate: One, ancient hominids consumed or otherwise intimately handled gorillas. Two, gorillas and hominids shared beds – but beds only. Or three, gorillas and early hominids got it on (as in sex).

Uh oh! So we may not only be descended from the apes, we may also have caught their parasites, in bed..., while doing the nasty..., down there....

Oh, wait. The christianists don't believe in evolution. Their god created everything 6,000 years ago in 6 days. What do you think his plan was in giving man and apes the same crabs?

just asking...

what's going on here (part XX)...

can someone explain...

1. Why do straights hate gays?

I think your hate is evil.

What do we do to you that is so awful? Why do you feel compelled to come after us with such frightful energy? Does this somehow make you feel safer and legitimate? What possible harm comes to you if we marry, or are taxed just like you, or are protected from assault by laws that say it is morally wrong to assault people out of hatred? The reasons always offered are religious ones, but certainly they are not based on the love all religions proclaim.

And even if your objections to gays are religious, why do you have to legislate them so hatefully? Make no mistake: Forbidding gay people to love or marry is based on hate, pure and simple.

You may say you don't hate us, but the people you vote for do, so what's the difference? Our own country's democratic process declares us to be unequal. Which means, in a democracy, that our enemy is you. You treat us like crumbs. You hate us. And sadly, we let you. Larry Kramer op-ed in the LA Times

Hatred is indeed a vile thing. In the 60's & 70's, hippies fomenting the Age of Aquarius placed flowers in the rifle barrels of soldiers and riot police trying to prevent their free speech against the Vietnam War. In mid-20th century Europe, Germans blamed Jews as the root of all evil and exterminated 6 million of them. For centuries, black people have faced enslavement and bigotry solely because of the color of their skin. The words of the christianists model, Jesus, order them to dispel hatred:

Matthew 22:37-40 -- Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. This is the first and great commandment. And the second [is] like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself. On these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets.

oh, wait... Jesus didn't say it first:

Leviticus 19:18 -- Thou shalt not avenge, nor bear any grudge against the children of thy people, but thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself: I am the LORD.

...and isn't Leviticus what the christianists quote against gays? you can't have it both ways. can you? just asking...

2. Senate limits Gonzales' hiring authority

The Senate voted overwhelmingly Tuesday to end the Bush administration's ability to unilaterally fill U.S. attorney vacancies as a backlash to Attorney General Alberto Gonzales' firing of eight federal prosecutors...

...the Senate by a 94-2 vote passed a bill that would cancel the attorney general's power to appoint U.S. attorneys without Senate confirmation.

94 - 2!

Essentially, the Senate returned the law regarding the appointments of U.S. attorneys to where it was before Congress passed the Patriot Act, including the unilateral appointment authority the administration had sought in the wake of the 9/11 terror attacks.

are we starting to see the beginning of some return to constitutional normalcy? just asking...

3. Fitzgerald Ranked During Leak Case

U.S. Attorney Patrick J. Fitzgerald was ranked among prosecutors who had "not distinguished themselves" on a Justice Department chart sent to the White House in March 2005, when he was in the midst of leading the CIA leak investigation that resulted in the perjury conviction of a vice presidential aide, administration officials said yesterday.

The ranking placed Fitzgerald below "strong U.S. Attorneys . . . who exhibited loyalty" to the administration but above "weak U.S. Attorneys who . . . chafed against Administration initiatives, etc.," according to Justice documents.

The chart was the first step in an effort to identify U.S. attorneys who should be removed. Two prosecutors who received the same ranking as Fitzgerald were later fired, documents show.

So, what do you suppose kept him off of the list? While the other USA's were allegedly investigating local corruption, Fitzgerald was hunting at the top. How would it have looked, if they had fired him? If the episode has taken this long to get into the MSM and public eye, [Remember, Sen. Diane Feinstein first brought it to the fore weeks ago.] should they have taken action against USA Fitzgerald all hell would have broken loose much louder and sooner. Do you think that Cheney, Rove, et. al. see Mr. Fitzgerald as their Danton? just asking...

4. President Bush: “I will resist all attempts to subpoena WH officials”

With the heat coming down on the White House and Attorney General, President Bush addressed the media today and went on the defensive against Democrats, accusing them of trying to "score political points" rather than seeking the truth. He promised to resist all WH subpoenas and insisted that his deal to let Rove and Miers "meet" with members of Congress is more than generous. President Bush kept making the point over and over that allowing his staff members (i.e. Karl Rove) to testify under oath would hamper his ablility to "get quality advice..."

(Some quality!) There really is flimsy precedent for this stand. Former presidents, including Clinton, allowed WH officials to testify in Congress. The White House and Republicans are using Clinton as an argument in their actions since he removed all of the USA's at the very beginning of his term. It's a bit different. He didn't pick and choose. He removed all of them right as he entered the White House not during his presidency and not people that he had put in the positions. Oh, wait, I forgot about Nixon. He had quality advice also. So, what, possibly, could George W have to hide? just asking...

[3.22.07 Update: George W's father did the exact same thing as Clinton on his taking over the presidency - he fired all the USA's.]


Sources: latimes.com, news.yahoo.com, Washington Post, Crooks & Liars

monday morning mayhem...

1. internet truth...

2. Funky Gizzardhump

MY NEW NAME IS IN THE SUBJECT.....DON'T LAUGH UNTIL YOU FIND OUT WHAT YOUR NEW NAME IS

We all need a little stress-reliever! This only takes a minute.

Sometimes when you have a stressful day or week, you need some silliness to break up the day. If we are honest, we have a lot more stressful days than not. Here is your dose of humor...


Follow the instructions to find your new name. The following is excerpted from a children's book, Captain Underpants And the Perilous Plot of Professor Poopypants, by Dave Pilkey, in which the evil Professor forces everyone to assume new names.

So:


1. Use the third letter of your first name to determine your New first name:

a = snickle

b = doombah

c = goober

d = cheesey

e = crusty

f = greasy

g = dumbo

h = farcus

i = dorky

j = doofus

k = funky

l = boobie

m = sleezy

n = sloopy

o = fluffy

p = stinky

q = slimy

r = dorfus

s = snooty

t = tootsie

u = dipsy

v = sneezy

w = liver

x = skippy

y = dinky

z = zippy


2. Use the second letter of your last name to determine the first half of your new last name:

a = dippin

b = feather

c = batty

d = burger

e = chicken

f = barffy

g = lizard

h = waffle

i = farkle

j = monkey

k = flippin

l = fricken

m = bubble

n = rhino

o = potty

p = hamster

q = buckle

r = gizzard

s = lickin

t = snickle

u = chuckle

v = pickle

w = hubble

x = dingle

y = gorilla

z = girdle


3. Use the third letter of your last name to determine the second half of your new last name:

a = butt

b = boob

c = face

d = nose

e = hump

f = breath

g = pants

h = shorts

i = lips

j = honker

k = head

l = tush

m = chunks

n = dunkin

o = brains

p = biscuits

q = toes

r = doodle

s = fanny

t = sniffer

u = sprinkles

v = frack

w = squirt

x = humperdinck

y = hiney

z = juice


Thus, for example, George W. Bush's new name is: Fluffy Chucklefanny.

Now COPY & SEND THIS ON TO YOUR FRIENDS ...use your new name as the subject.

And remember that children laugh an average of 146 times a day; adults laugh an average of 4 times a day. Put more laughter in your day.

3. HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED

Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, "You're next." They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.

4. too ill...

a true conservative...

The true conservative of the Republican Party has to be Bary Goldwater. He personified all of the tenets of conservativism, especially those of economics and states' rights. He also kept things in perspective when it came to personal freedoms and duty.

For example, on the banning of gays in the military:

"Well, that's just stupid."

General Peter Pace, Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, on the other hand has a different opinion:

In the newspaper interview, Pace said that while he supports the “don’t ask, don’t tell” policy allowing gays to serve in the military, he believes that “homosexual acts between individuals are immoral and that we should not condone immoral acts.”

“I do not believe that the armed forces of the United States are well served by saying through our policies that it’s OK to be immoral in any way,” he said.

What about the immorality of the conflagration in Iraq? The discharge of men and women who are the sorely needed translators of Arabic because they are LGBT? The lies that got the US into the mess it is in right now?

If you are going to talk about immorality, General, talk about hypocrisy as well. Or to repeat the words of Barry Goldwater one more time:

"Well, that's just stupid."

got that right...

Iraq anniversary...

Today is the 5th anniversary [should we actually be celebrating an anniverary concerning this?] of the shock and awe beginning of the conflagration in Iraq. I think the true shock and awe is that it is still going on today, and the expense has been too great in both money and manpower wasted. This has turned into a greater quagmire than Vietnam with the major difference being its basis on the religious - christian, sunni, shia - versus ideology - communism & democracy. Though some may say there is very little different with the underlying arguments of both.

cruisin'...

the ship...



the scenery...



the surprise...



the disco t-dance



the beach ball...



the best comments...

- You all really know how to have a good time.

- You guys drink a lot. We sell more booze in the first two days of this cruise than we do on an entire regular cruise!

- Weren't you wearing pants when we left San Juan?

the end...


[no, it's not me. i wish i could look this good. i wish i ever looked this good.]

Atlantis knows how to throw a party. I had a ball...

and so did 2000 other guys...

nowhere to be found...

i'm in the middle of the caribbean sea right now on a ship headed for aruba! have already been to san juan, st martin, st kitts. after aruba then to curacao. temp is 87 degrees - a far cry from the 25 when i left chicago last saturday. two guys just walked by wearing pink and yellow afros and platform shoes! i need to get on deck for the classic disco t-dance..................................

wouldn't you rather be here?

just asking.

[pictures will have to wait until after i return.]

really, really tough IQ test...

or it may be a test for dementia:

Only takes a couple of minutes !


INSTRUCTIONS

Below are four (4 ) questions and a bonus question.
You have to answer them instantly. You can't take your time, answer all of them immediately. OK?

Let's find out just how clever you really are....
Ready? GO!!!

(scroll down)
[no cheating by scrolling ahead...]













First Question: You are participating in a race. You overtake the second person. What position are you in?







[remember, no cheating by scrolling ahead...]
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~












Answer: If you answered that you are first, then you are absolutely wrong!

If you overtake the second person and you take his place, you are second!

Try not to screw up next time. Now answer the second question, But don't take as much time as you took for the first question, OK ?



Second Question: If you overtake the last person, then you are ______________? (scroll down)

















~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~





Answer: If you answered that you are second to last, then you are wrong again. Tell me, how can you overtake the LAST person?






(You're not very good at this, are you?)






Third Question: Very tricky arithmetic! Note: This must be done in your head only. Do NOT use paper and pencil or a calculator. Try it.



Take 1000 and add 40 to it.
Now add another 1000.
Now add 30.
Add another 1000.
Now add 20.
Now add another 1000
Now add 10. What is the total?


Scroll down for answer.....















~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~













Did you get 5000?

The correct answer is actually 4100.

If you don't believe it, check it with a calculator!



Today is definitely not your day, is it?

Maybe you'll get the last question right...

....Maybe



Fourth Question: Mary's father has five daughters: 1. Nana, 2. Nene, 3. Nini, 4. Nono. What is the name of the fifth daughter?

















~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~





Did you Answer Nunu?
NO! Of course it isn't. Her name is MARY.
Read the question again!



Okay, now the bonus question. This one may just save you:

A mute person goes into a shop and wants to buy a toothbrush. By imitating the action of brushing his teeth he successfully expresses himself to the shopkeeper and the purchase is done. Next, a blind man comes into the shop who wants to buy a pair of sunglasses; how does HE indicate what he wants?
















~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
















He just has to open his mouth and ask...
It's really very simple.... He's BLIND not MUTE!

just like you!

don't feel too bad. i only got the last one correct and that was because i had heard it before.

monday morning mayhem...

[a bit early, because I'm leaving early Saturday morning on a cruise...]

1. modern education...

Recently, when I went to McDonald's I saw on the menu that
You could have an order of 6, 9 or 12 Chicken McNuggets. I Asked for a half dozen nuggets. "We don't have half dozen nuggets," said the Teenager at the counter. "You don't?" I replied. "We only have six, nine, or twelve," was the reply. "So I can't order half Dozen nuggets, but I can order six?" "That's right." So I Shook my head and ordered six McNuggets.

2. check this out...

I was checking out at the local Wal-Mart with just a few items and the lady behind me put her things on the belt close to mine. I picked up one of those "dividers" that they keep by the cash register and placed it between our things so they wouldn't get mixed. After the girl had scanned all of my items, she picked up the "divider", looking it all over for the bar code so she could scan it. Not finding the bar code, she said to me, "Do you know how much this is?" I said to her "I've changed my mind; I don't think I'll buy that today." She said "OK," and I paid her for the things and left. She had no clue to what had just happened.

3.computers make the world a better place...

My neighbor works in the operations department in the central office of a large bank. Employees in the field call him when they have problems with their computers. One night he got a call from a woman in one of the branch banks who had this question: "I've got smoke coming from the back of my terminal. Do you guys have a fire downtown?" [Think she was blond?]

4. suffer the little chldren...

3-year-old Reese:
"Our Father, Who does art in heaven, Harold is His name.
Amen."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A little boy was overheard praying:
"Lord, if you can't make me a better boy, don't worry about it.
I'm having a real good time like I am."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After the christening of his baby brother in church,
Jason sobbed all the way home in the back seat of the car.
His father asked him three times what was wrong.
Finally, the boy replied, "That preacher said he wanted us brought up in a Christian home, and I wanted to stay with you guys."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

One particular four-year-old prayed,
"And forgive us our trash baskets
as we forgive those who put trash in our baskets."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A Sunday school teacher asked her children as they
were on the way to church service,

"And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?"

One bright little girl replied,

"Because people are sleeping."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A father was at the beach with his children when the four-year-old son ran up to him, grabbed his hand, and led him to the shore where a seagull lay dead in the sand. "Daddy, what happened to him?" the son asked.
"He died and went to Heaven," the Dad replied.
The boy thought a moment and then said,
"Did God throw him back down?"

half a surge...

Stephen Colbert gets it right with THE W∅RD. There is no comment that could say it better than this -



no wonder bush is loosing, and he doesn't even know it...

Impeach the bastard!

if today is your birthday...

The Chicago Sun-Times carries two, count 'em, two astrologers - Georgia Nicols and Holiday Mathis (no relation to Johnnie). Besides the daily horoscope for each sun sign they also do a thing called IF MARCH 8 IS YOUR BIRTHDAY and it is, mine that is. Birthday...

Here are the two in the paper today:

Georgia Nichols

Hockey player Larry Murphy (1961) shares your birthday today. You're a traditionalist, yet you insist on doing things your own way. Because you have a great zest for life, you're not afraid to take on major (sometimes daunting) projects. Others easily like you. You often choose a role in life and play it to the hilt. In the year ahead, you will focus on your closest partnerships and friendships.

Holiday Mathis

Once you set your intention, nothing stands in your way. Or, things do stand in your way, but you're flying over them on the wings of your determination. What happens in March lights a fire in you. Projects in May are the springboard for your next adventure. Your connections with Scorpio and Cancer people are fun and games. Lucky numbers are 30, 6, 11, 32 and 14.

Now, I do read the horoscopes every day. It's a habit. It's harmless. It's really not anything different than saying prayers or meditating or playing the lotto. They're all equally spiritual in nature and sources of amusement and become habits - good or bad.

Any way, as far as the two IF MARCH 8 IS YOUR BIRTHDAY entries today, sometimes horoscopes can not just be amusing but also scarily semi-accurate. Not the prediction parts, but the descriptors. I do have a zest for life (if I didn't I'd be dead!); I am fairly traditional (coming from an Italian family you can't help it); I do absolutely insist on doing things my way (though I compromise diplomatically very often.) ; I took on a major project beginning today - retirement; everybody likes me (for the life of me I don't know why!); I am more than determined - I can be down-right obstinate once I set my mind to something (I can drive even me nuts most of the time) ; and I don't know who the hell Larry Murphy is! (I would rather they say that I share the same birthday as Lynn Redgrave, Ruggiero Leoncavallo, Oliver Wendell Holmes, Carl Philipp Emanuel Bach, or even that Millard Fillmore died on March 8, 1874.)

Oh, well. I realize that the statements that are made in horoscopes are very generic. You probably have the same characteristics and you may have been born on December 26th!

As I said, though, horoscopes are fun. Just like anything else, you take in what is meaningful and throw out the rest. One thing I've been meaning to do is to reread them at the end of the day to see if anything came true, but I'm always too tired to remember and would it even make a difference?

do you know where your stars are today?

just asking...

There's a party goin' on right here...

A celebration to last throughout the years
So bring your good times, and your laughter too
We gonna celebrate your party with you

Come on now

Celebration
Let's all celebrate and have a good time
Celebration
We gonna celebrate and have a good time

what are we celebrating?

my last day at work!

i'm retiring today...

$1.5 million...

accident!

I've posted about the Bugatti Veyron before. It is the world's most expensive car. It has 16 cylinders. It reaches speeds in excess of 250 mph. It is entirely hand made. It is near perfection as far as autos go.

Here is a picture of a $1.5 million accident. That's how much the Veyron costs. Soon we're probably going to find out how much it costs to fix...



wanna bet the guy didn't have insurance?

ouch...

you can't have it all ways at the same time...

Albert Mohler writes some wingnuttery entitiled "Is Your Baby Gay? What If You Could Know? What If You Could Do Something About It?" in his latest wisdom-filled post dealing with IF sexual orientation were genetically determined rather than sinful choice, what would people do. I have to admit that there are a couple of viable arguments he poses but he looses me with the basis for his entire point when he deals with the underlying reasoning behind the christianist stand:

Christians must be very careful not to claim that science can never prove a biological basis for sexual orientation. We can and must insist that no scientific finding can change the basic sinfulness of all homosexual behavior. The general trend of the research points to at least some biological factors behind sexual attraction, gender identity, and sexual orientation. This does not alter God's moral verdict on homosexual sin (or heterosexual sin, for that matter), but it does hold some promise that a deeper knowledge of homosexuality and its cause will allow for more effective ministries to those who struggle with this particular pattern of temptation. If such knowledge should ever be discovered, we should embrace it and use it for the greater good of humanity and for the greater glory of God.

let me get this straight [pun intended] God has a moral verdict? Does this mean that god is moral or created morals? In the argument above, is it saying that god erred in some way because his moral created something to which he is opposed? Or did he change his mind afterward? And, even if it is proven that genetics has a role in sexual orientation, god still meant it to be sinful and no one can accept the truth in this area?

i'm confused.

If this is the case, since god created all things, he either a) erred in his creation or b) meant it to be the way it is and c) does not want anyone to believe in a) or b). [we already know that christianists don't believe in science, so that's not an option.]

what is it? who are we supposed to believe? with either scenario the wingnuts have some explaining to do.

don't they?

blog this...

It's interesting how the MSM is so on top of what's going on in the world.

All of a sudden they are reporting on the replacement (firing) of US attorneys across the country and showing indignation at its happening.

Sen. Feinstein first brought it to the country's attention at least three weeks ago. It's been on Americablog.com, Crooks & Liars, Pam's House Blend, the Raw Story, the Daily Dish. Hell, even I posted about it at least two weeks ago.

I've noticed how things appear on the blogosphere almost instanteously and it takes weeks, literally, to make it into the MSM. What's more interesting is that all of the MSM now has an on-line presence and their own blogs but you're wont to find more immediate coverage of things.

The blogosphere has really changed the face of not just the world's news but also the nature of democracy. We now have direct participation in what's happening in the world. We now have every person, you and I, commenting and reporting on what's going on in the world. We now have more and more people aware of the consequences of actions of people in charge and saying, "I don't like it."

There is more to come. Much, much more. I can't wait to see what the world is going to look like in two years, let alone ten!

how about you?

just asking...

monday morning mayhem...

1. be careful what you ask...

An 86-year-old man walked into a crowded Doctor's Waiting Room. As he approached the desk, the Receptionist said, "Yes sir, what are you seeing the Doctor for today?"

"There's something wrong with my dick," he replied.

The Receptionist became irritated and said, "You shouldn't come into a crowded Doctor's Room and say things like that."

"Why not? You asked me what was wrong and I told you," he said.

The Receptionist replied, "You've obviously caused some embarrassment in this room full of people. You should have said there is something wrong with your ear or something and then discussed the problem further with the Doctor in private."

The man replied, "You shouldn't ask people things in a room full of others, if the answer could embarrass anyone."

The man walked out, waited several minutes and then re-entered.

The Receptionist smiled smugly and asked, "Yes?"

"There's something wrong with my ear," he stated.

The Receptionist nodded approvingly and smiled, knowing he had taken her advice. "What's wrong with your ear, Sir?"

"I can't piss out of it," the man replied.

2. be very, very careful...

A man moves into a nudist colony. He receives a letter from his grandmother asking him to send her a current photo of himself in his new location. Too embarrassed to let her know that he lives in a nudist colony, he cuts a photo in half and mails it. The next day he discovers that he had accidentally sent the bottom half of the photo.

He's really worried but then remembers how bad his grandmother's eyesight is, and hopes she won't notice. A few weeks later, he receives a letter from his Grandmother. It says:

"Thank you for the picture. Change your hairstyle. . . . it makes your nose look too short."
Love, Grandma

3. or don't be careful at all...

blogged to death...

from QT at the Chicago Sun-Times

News Item: Man in northern China slumps over and dies at his computer after seven days nonstop on the Internet

He was warned to stay away from the Drudge Report.

it possibly also grows hair on your palms or crosses your eyes or lessens sperm count...

the Drudge Report causes brain cancer. i'm almost certain of that. i know it raises blood pressure. don't believe me? go ahead. read drudge with a sphygmometer on your arm. it's a fact. i blocked him a long time ago. and what's with that hat? does anyone really wear a hat anymore?

do you think that anyone's done a study of the effects of extended time on the Internet? this could be an entirely new business enterprise that one could make lots of money doing.

i mean the study not the internet...

l'etat c'est moi...

Does anyone else see the ironic similarity between the Laura Bush statement

Many parts of Iraq are stable now. But, uh, of course, what we see on television is the one bombing a day that discourages everyone.

and Maria Antoinette's alleged statement

Let them eat cake.

i mean, not that the content is closely associated, but that there is a duplicitis monarchical dismissal in the meanings behind the two quotes?

just asking...