surgery...

okay... so this is being posted at 7:30 am this morning - the exact time i'm supposed to be in surgery.

this will be the second back surgery in less than a year. i certainly hope this fixes everything. the problem is all of the injuries to the five discs are new; only one is a re-injury at S1 from the first time.

so... as a result today's mayhem is all about surgery, because if you can't laugh about it, it becomes too serious. besides, laughter helps the medicine go down. oh, wait. maybe that's honey...


Four-Letter Surgery

Jerry is recovering from surgery when a nurse asks him how he is feeling.

"I'm OK but I didn't like the four-letter-word the doctor used in surgery," he answered.

"What did he say," asked the nurse.

"OOPS!"


A List of Things You Don't Want to Hear During Surgery:

1. What do you mean "You want a divorce"?

2. Has anyone seen my watch?

3. Come back with that! Bad Dog!

4. Wait a minute, if this is his spleen, then what's that?

5. Hand me that...uh...that uh.....thingy

6. What do you mean he wasn't in for a sex change!

7. Damn, there go the lights again...

8. Everybody stand back! I lost my contact lens!

9. Well folks, this will be an experiment for all of us.

10. What do you mean, he's not insured?

11. Let's hurry, I don't want to miss "Idol"



oh, wait. that's 11!

After Surgery

A nurse had to take a patient back to his room after surgery. The man was still feeling the effects of the anesthetic and was rather confused.

After the nurse had made him comfortable, she was confronted with four of the man's friends who asked, "How is he?"

The nurse replied, "Oh, he's quite dopey."

One of the friends said, "We know that! How is he healthwise?"


my friends would say the same thing...


Comparing Childhood Surgeries

Two little kids are in a hospital, lying on stretchers next to each other, outside the operating room. The first kid leans over and asks, "What are you in here for?"

The second kid says, "I'm in here to get my tonsils out and I'm a little nervous."

The first kid says, "You've got nothing to worry about. I had that done when I was four. They put you to sleep, and when you wake up they give you lots of Jell-O and ice cream. It's a breeze!"

The second kid then asks, "What are you here for?"

The first kid says, "A circumcision."

The second kid says, "Whoa! I had that done when I was born. I couldn't walk for a year!"


wish me luck.


oh, i almost forgot.

to help you through the work week -




hellllllloooooooooooo!