ummm...

rats, i forgot what it was...

fight for freedom and fleeing to Habeas Corpus...

The Chicago Sun-Times today reprinted this cartoon by Pat Oliphant concerning the 5-4 decision to give alleged terrorists and non-citizens the right to be covered by the US court system and most specifically the habeas corpus. I think it sums up quite a bit.



Right now, I can't remember who spoke the words "At what price freedom?" but we've been paying too high a price for the last seven-and-a-half years and I'm not talking about the cost of gasoline.

In spite of differences I have in political areas, we must elect a Democrat president because of SCOTUS. Justice John Paul Stevens has gone above and beyond the call of duty being on the court since 1975. He is 88 years young. Ruth Bader Ginsburg has sat on it since 1993. She is 75. They have been protecting us for a long time, while the four in the Pat Oliphant cartoon above have done everything in their power to protect big business, secrecy, and political interests.

The only way to assure our existing freedoms remain and the the fight for ones we have lost are restored is to elect a Democratic president, no matter who it is.

this one couldn't wait for a weekender...

A Florida senior citizen drove his brand new Corvette convertible out of the dealership.

Taking off down the road, he pushed it to 80 mph, enjoying the wind blowing through what little hair he had left.

"Amazing," he thought as he flew down I-75, pushing the pedal even more.

Looking in his rear view mirror, he saw a Florida State Trooper, blue lights flashing and siren blaring.

He floored it to 100 mph, then 110, then 120. Suddenly he thought, "What am I doing? I'm too old for this!" and pulled over to await the trooper's arrival.


Pulling in behind him, the trooper got out of his vehicle and walked up to the Corvette. He looked at his watch, then said, "Sir, my shift ends in 30 minutes. Today is Friday. If you can give me a new reason for speeding--a reason I've never before heard--I'll let you go."

The old gentleman paused then said: "Three years ago, my wife ran off with a Florida State Trooper. I thought you were bringing her back."

"Have a good day, Sir," replied the trooper.


i was rotflmao when i read this...

weekender...

I went into the gas station today and
asked for five dollars worth of gas.....

The clerk farted and gave me a receipt.



gawd... i hope the weekend is better!

this is NOT a big choice...

duh...

actually, i've never thought of it in these terms, but since I haven't been able to go to the gym in over 4½ months because of my back problems, it makes more sense to me and i've complained to the doctors about not going to the gym. when is the last time you ever heard a doctor tell you not to exercise?

hopefully, after the surgery on Monday, that will all change and i'll be back to my 3-4 times a week at the club. god, if anyone who knew me in high school or college were to hear me say i miss going to the gym, they'd wonder what happened to me. i hated gym! probably because i always had swimming at 7:00 am for one quarter of the year. brrrrr...

monday morning mayhem...

species identity confusion?




painted nails...





can you remember...

weekender...

and if you're having the traditional Easter dinner this Sunday...


What disease did cured ham actually have?

think about it...

how to clean your house...

1. Open a new file in your PC
2. Name it "HOUSEWORK"
3. Send it to the RECYCLE BIN.
4. Empty the RECYCLE BIN.
5. Your PC will ask you, "Are you sure you want to delete Housework permanently?"
6. Calmly answer, "Yes," and press mouse button firmly
7. Feel better?

Works for me!

weekender...

think you had a bad week?

things can always get worse...

where's my rebate check?

For the first time ever I have to pay the IRS this year. It's because of all the refunds I got when I retired last year. Seems that the government agencies had me putting money into things for a number of years that I didn't have to pay into. Figures....

Since they were pensionable items there were no taxes taken out at the time. So, now, I have to pay the taxes on them.

My questions then are, if I'm paying taxes this year, do I get this economic stimulus package or not? Can I just deduct the $600 from what I have to pay? Do I get the entire $600 or a percentage because I made so much with the refunds? Do I have to file additional paperwork? Or am I just being stimulated where the sun don't shine?

i'm confused.

wait..., maybe i'm not.

no, i'm definitely confused...

'splain me, Lucy...

can't find the turkey?

they must have gone on vacation...



i baked all day - baguettes, white bread, ciabatta, wheat bread, apple pie, tarte tatin. the house smells incredible. tomorrow a surprise dessert and then i'm off to friends for the weekend...

have a great Thanksgiving...

monday morning mayhem...

1. internet truth...

2. Funky Gizzardhump

MY NEW NAME IS IN THE SUBJECT.....DON'T LAUGH UNTIL YOU FIND OUT WHAT YOUR NEW NAME IS

We all need a little stress-reliever! This only takes a minute.

Sometimes when you have a stressful day or week, you need some silliness to break up the day. If we are honest, we have a lot more stressful days than not. Here is your dose of humor...


Follow the instructions to find your new name. The following is excerpted from a children's book, Captain Underpants And the Perilous Plot of Professor Poopypants, by Dave Pilkey, in which the evil Professor forces everyone to assume new names.

So:


1. Use the third letter of your first name to determine your New first name:

a = snickle

b = doombah

c = goober

d = cheesey

e = crusty

f = greasy

g = dumbo

h = farcus

i = dorky

j = doofus

k = funky

l = boobie

m = sleezy

n = sloopy

o = fluffy

p = stinky

q = slimy

r = dorfus

s = snooty

t = tootsie

u = dipsy

v = sneezy

w = liver

x = skippy

y = dinky

z = zippy


2. Use the second letter of your last name to determine the first half of your new last name:

a = dippin

b = feather

c = batty

d = burger

e = chicken

f = barffy

g = lizard

h = waffle

i = farkle

j = monkey

k = flippin

l = fricken

m = bubble

n = rhino

o = potty

p = hamster

q = buckle

r = gizzard

s = lickin

t = snickle

u = chuckle

v = pickle

w = hubble

x = dingle

y = gorilla

z = girdle


3. Use the third letter of your last name to determine the second half of your new last name:

a = butt

b = boob

c = face

d = nose

e = hump

f = breath

g = pants

h = shorts

i = lips

j = honker

k = head

l = tush

m = chunks

n = dunkin

o = brains

p = biscuits

q = toes

r = doodle

s = fanny

t = sniffer

u = sprinkles

v = frack

w = squirt

x = humperdinck

y = hiney

z = juice


Thus, for example, George W. Bush's new name is: Fluffy Chucklefanny.

Now COPY & SEND THIS ON TO YOUR FRIENDS ...use your new name as the subject.

And remember that children laugh an average of 146 times a day; adults laugh an average of 4 times a day. Put more laughter in your day.

3. HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED

Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, "You're next." They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.

4. too ill...

monday morning mayhem...

1. be careful what you ask...

An 86-year-old man walked into a crowded Doctor's Waiting Room. As he approached the desk, the Receptionist said, "Yes sir, what are you seeing the Doctor for today?"

"There's something wrong with my dick," he replied.

The Receptionist became irritated and said, "You shouldn't come into a crowded Doctor's Room and say things like that."

"Why not? You asked me what was wrong and I told you," he said.

The Receptionist replied, "You've obviously caused some embarrassment in this room full of people. You should have said there is something wrong with your ear or something and then discussed the problem further with the Doctor in private."

The man replied, "You shouldn't ask people things in a room full of others, if the answer could embarrass anyone."

The man walked out, waited several minutes and then re-entered.

The Receptionist smiled smugly and asked, "Yes?"

"There's something wrong with my ear," he stated.

The Receptionist nodded approvingly and smiled, knowing he had taken her advice. "What's wrong with your ear, Sir?"

"I can't piss out of it," the man replied.

2. be very, very careful...

A man moves into a nudist colony. He receives a letter from his grandmother asking him to send her a current photo of himself in his new location. Too embarrassed to let her know that he lives in a nudist colony, he cuts a photo in half and mails it. The next day he discovers that he had accidentally sent the bottom half of the photo.

He's really worried but then remembers how bad his grandmother's eyesight is, and hopes she won't notice. A few weeks later, he receives a letter from his Grandmother. It says:

"Thank you for the picture. Change your hairstyle. . . . it makes your nose look too short."
Love, Grandma

3. or don't be careful at all...

addictive behavior...

Research has come up showing that addictions are controlled by a very specific part of the brain and can completely go away if it is damaged. A story in the New York Times, In Clue to Addiction, a Brain Injury Halts Smoking, lays out the basics:

Scientists studying stroke patients are reporting today that an injury to a specific part of the brain, near the ear, can instantly and permanently break a smoking habit. People with the injury who stopped smoking found that their bodies, as one man put it, “forgot the urge to smoke.”

All research in the field had been looking at areas of the brain's cortex. The injury in the case presented was to the insula that lies deep within the brain. The scientists seemed surprised.

Great news for some, not hopeful for others, especially for what has become the number one health concern in the US - obesity. It seems that the brain makes a very particular distinction:

The patients’ desire to eat, by contrast, was intact. This suggests, the authors wrote, that the insula is critical for behaviors whose bodily effects become pleasurable because they are learned, like cigarette smoking.

The article also makes a point that they're are not going to go around and injure people's brains to stop their addictions. BUT, aren't they already injured, or at least damaged?

As an amusing aside, a friend sent me this cartoon that befits the story and also reminded me of my all time favorite joke. Both follow below.

Two drag queens were waiting for the no. 141 bus on Broadway when a german shepard sat down next to them and began licking himself.

One of the girls noticed this and said to her girlfriend, "Wish I could do that."

Her friend looked down and replied, "Looks like a friendly dog. Go ahead..."

oh, my...

again, be careful what you wish for...

keep reminding me...

a friend sent me this in an email. the old saying that history repeats itself may be old-hat, but it surely can be true. however, it don't think that history does repeat itself. i believe that humans don't learn from the past. the present and the future always seem to be a reinvention of the wheel. humanity keeps doing the same things over and over again.

do you think we'll ever learn?



here is wiley's page: wiley where you can find other cartoons by him.