monday morning mayhem...

I'm back, and right now I really don't want to talk about it yet except to say, it was worse than they thought and what was supposed to be a one-hour routine surgery turned into a five-hour marathon. so.... i need today's mayhem. hee... hee...


Ways To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity...

1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses On And Point A Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.

2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice.

3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, Ask If They Want Fries With That.

4. Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk And Label It 'In.'

5. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks, Once Everyone Has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch To Espresso.

6. In The Memo Field Of All Of Your Checks, Write 'For Favors.'

7. Finish All Your Sentences With 'In Accordance With The Prophecy.'

8. Don't Use Any Punctuation

9. As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than Walk.

10. Order A Diet Water Whenever You Go Out To Eat, With A Serious Face.

11. Specify That Your Drive-Thru Order Is 'To Go.'

12. Sing Along At The Opera.

13. Go To A Poetry Recital And Ask Why The Poems Don't Rhyme?

14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area And Play Tropical Sound All Day.

15. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party because you're Not In The Mood.

16. Have Your Co-workers Address You By Your Wrestling Name, 'Rock Bottom.'

17. When The Money Comes Out Of The ATM, Scream, 'I Won!, I Won!'

18. When Leaving The Zoo, Start Running Towards The Parking Lot, Yelling, 'Run For Your Lives, They're Loose!!'

19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner, 'Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go.'

20. Send This List To Someone To Make them Smile. It's Called Therapy!


i'm going to start using #7 right away...