1. The High School Guy
Have you ever been guilty of looking at others your own age and thinking, "Surely I can't look that old?" Well... you'll love this one!
I was sitting in the waiting room for my first appointment with a new dentist.
I noticed his DDS diploma, which bore his full name. Suddenly, I remembered that a tall, handsome, dark-haired boy with the same name had been in my high school class some 40-odd years ago. Could he be the same guy that I had a secret crush on, way back then?
Upon seeing him, however, I quickly discarded any such thought. This balding, gray-haired man with the deeply lined face was way too old to have been my class mate. or could he?
After he examined my teeth, I asked him if he had attended Morgan Park High School.
"Yes! Yes, I did! I'm a mustang," he gleamed with pride.
"When did you graduate?" I asked.
He answered, "In 1959. Why do you ask?"
"You were in my class!" I exclaimed.
He looked at me closely. Then, that ugly, old, wrinkled, bald, fat, gray, decrepit son-of-a-xxxx asked, ....................
"What did you teach?"
2. please listen carefully. Our menu has recently changed...
3. scam artist alert
Watch out for this scam.
There is a slick routine aimed at stealing from unwary persons. They say that the gang usually comprises three or four members. While the three younger ones, all appearing to be cute and innocent, divert their "mark" (or intended target) with a show of friendliness and fun, the fourth - the eldest of this gang of criminals - sneaks in from behind the person's back to expertly rifle undetected through pockets and bags for any valuables being carried.
The picture below, taken from CTV operating in the inner city, shows the Gang in operation.
4. Three Old Ladies at the Ball Game
This is a detective story so pay close attention!!!
Three elderly ladies are excited about seeing their first Cubs baseball game. They smuggle a bottle of Jack Daniel's into the ballpark. The game is real exciting and they are enjoying themselves immensely, while mixing the Jack Daniel's with soft drinks. Soon they realize that the bottle is almost gone and the game has a lot of innings to go.
Based on the given information, what inning is it and how many players are on base?
Think!
Think some more!!
You're gonna love it...
Answer: It's the bottom of the fifth and the bags are loaded........
that reminds me of the joke that allegedly helped get Dick Biondi kicked off the radio in Chicago during the 60's...
So, I took my girlfriend to the Sox game. I made a deal with her that I would kiss her on the strikes and she would kiss me on the balls.We sure have come a long way. Think of Howard Stern
No comments:
Post a Comment