1. modern education...
Recently, when I went to McDonald's I saw on the menu that
You could have an order of 6, 9 or 12 Chicken McNuggets. I Asked for a half dozen nuggets. "We don't have half dozen nuggets," said the Teenager at the counter. "You don't?" I replied. "We only have six, nine, or twelve," was the reply. "So I can't order half Dozen nuggets, but I can order six?" "That's right." So I Shook my head and ordered six McNuggets.
2. check this out...
I was checking out at the local Wal-Mart with just a few items and the lady behind me put her things on the belt close to mine. I picked up one of those "dividers" that they keep by the cash register and placed it between our things so they wouldn't get mixed. After the girl had scanned all of my items, she picked up the "divider", looking it all over for the bar code so she could scan it. Not finding the bar code, she said to me, "Do you know how much this is?" I said to her "I've changed my mind; I don't think I'll buy that today." She said "OK," and I paid her for the things and left. She had no clue to what had just happened.
3.computers make the world a better place...
My neighbor works in the operations department in the central office of a large bank. Employees in the field call him when they have problems with their computers. One night he got a call from a woman in one of the branch banks who had this question: "I've got smoke coming from the back of my terminal. Do you guys have a fire downtown?" [Think she was blond?]
4. suffer the little chldren...
3-year-old Reese:
"Our Father, Who does art in heaven, Harold is His name.
Amen."
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A little boy was overheard praying:
"Lord, if you can't make me a better boy, don't worry about it.
I'm having a real good time like I am."
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After the christening of his baby brother in church,
Jason sobbed all the way home in the back seat of the car.
His father asked him three times what was wrong.
Finally, the boy replied, "That preacher said he wanted us brought up in a Christian home, and I wanted to stay with you guys."
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One particular four-year-old prayed,
"And forgive us our trash baskets
as we forgive those who put trash in our baskets."
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A Sunday school teacher asked her children as they
were on the way to church service,
"And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?"
One bright little girl replied,
"Because people are sleeping."
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A father was at the beach with his children when the four-year-old son ran up to him, grabbed his hand, and led him to the shore where a seagull lay dead in the sand. "Daddy, what happened to him?" the son asked.
"He died and went to Heaven," the Dad replied.
The boy thought a moment and then said,
"Did God throw him back down?"
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