monday morning mayhem...

1. a real television blooper...


go ahead, tell me it's never happened to you...

2. immigration controversy...

On that fateful day, March 6, 1836, Davy Crockett woke up and walked from his bunk on the floor of the Alamo up to the observation post on the west wall. William B. Travis and Jim Bowie were there already there. The three gazed at the hordes of Mexicans moving steadily towards them.

Davy turned to Bowie with a puzzled look on his face and said, " Jim, are we landscaping today?"

guess it's always been an enigma for the U.S....

3. sex and the insurance company...

An eighty-three year old lady finished her annual physical examination, whereupon the doctor said, "You are in fine shape for your age, but tell me, do you still have intercourse?"

"Just a minute, I'll have to ask my husband," she said. She went out to the reception room and said: "Bob, do we still have intercourse?"

Bob answered loudly & impatiently, "If I told you once, I told you a thousand times... We have Blue Cross!"

wonder if you have to call to get a referral from your insurance?

4. never leave your nuts alone...

A doctor at an insane asylum decided to take his patients to a baseball game. For weeks in advance, he coached his patients to respond to his commands. When the day of the game arrived. Everything went quite well. As the National Anthem started, the doctor yelled, "Up Nuts", and the patients complied by standing up. After the anthem, he yelled, "Down Nuts", and they all sat back down in their seats. After a home run was hit, the doctor yelled, "Cheer Nuts". They all broke out into applause and cheered. When the umpire made a particularly bad call against the star of the home team, the Doctor yelled, "Booooo Nuts" and they all started booing and cat calling. Comfortable with their response, the doctor decided to go get a soda and a hot dog, leaving his assistant in charge.

When he returned, there was a riot in progress. Finding his tizzied assistant, the doctor asked, "What in the world happened "The assistant replied, "Well everything was going just fine until this guy walked by and yelled, "PEE-NUTS!".

and i did when i read this the first time. i even woke myself up in the middle of the night laughing while dreaming about it. [don't snicker. i've always laughed in my sleep. my parents and roommates have all verified it, and from time to time, as like this one, i laugh so hard i wake myself up. i also always dream in color, which people tell me is unusual. i think it's neat; i have a good time!]