the Craig dilemma, er, enigma, uh, paradox...

whatever...

Seems the Republicans are getting fed up with his "I'm going.... Maybe, I'm going.... I'm staying until the court case.... I'm staying, forever...." You get the picture.

The Washington Post has a piece today about just how fed-up the GOP may be: GOP Is Ready to Roll Out the Klieg Lights for Craig. It outlines what may be going through their minds. Moneyquote:

Worried that the disgraced lawmaker intends to remain in the Senate indefinitely, they are threatening to notch up the public humiliation by seeking an open ethics hearing on the restroom scandal that enveloped Craig last month.

They are even talking not just about the Ethics Committee looking into the disorderly conduct charge to which Craig pleaded guilty but also the "interference with privacy" charge that he pled out of for this lesser charge.

There is one thing that is more specious. Remember that Craig said that he was only reaching down to pick up a piece of toilet paper off the floor? [ickkk!] Why would he have used his left hand to pick up a piece of paper on the right side of the stall reaching across? uh, wouldn't that demand that he be more flexible than a yogi?

In addition, the officer said he saw Craig's wedding ring when he ran his hand along the bottom of the partition. Why would he have wanted the person in the next stall to see his wedding ring? Would it make it more acceptable if the other person thought he was married?

ummmm, i'm confused...

banned books week...

in Nazi Germany one of the most nefarious things that went on was book burnings. Any book that did not toe the party line was, literally, burned. There are many pictures of the hateful practice.

There are, sadly, in this country segments who believe that they have the right to regulate what people read. Though they don't go to the extreme of burning books, they continually attack school and library boards to get the books that they determine to be inappropriate banned.

This weeks, September 29th - October 6th is the American Library Association's Banned Books Week. The theme they are using this year is Ahoy! Treasure your freedom to read, get hooked on a banned book.

Here are the "10 Most Challenged Books of 2006" on the ALA list:

"And Tango Makes Three," by Justin Richardson and Peter Parnell, for homosexuality, anti-family, and unsuited to age group;

"Alice" series, by Phyllis Reynolds Naylor for sexual content and offensive language;

"Athletic Shorts," by Chris Crutcher for homosexuality and offensive language;

"Beloved," by Toni Morrison for offensive language, sexual content, and unsuited to age group;

"The Bluest Eye," by Toni Morrison for sexual content, offensive language, and unsuited to age group;

"The Chocolate War," by Robert Cormier for sexual content, offensive language, and violence;

"The Earth, My Butt, and Other Big Round Things," by Carolyn Mackler for sexual content, anti-family, offensive language, and unsuited to age group;

"Gossip Girls," series by Cecily Von Ziegesar for homosexuality, sexual content, drugs, unsuited to age group, and offensive language;

"The Perks of Being a Wallflower," by Stephen Chbosky for homosexuality, sexually explicit, offensive language, and unsuited to age group; and

"Scary Stories" series, by Alvin Schwartz for occult/Satanism, unsuited to age group, violence, and insensitivity.

Off the list this year, but in years past have often been included, are such classics as "Catcher in the Rye," by J.D. Salinger; "Of Mice and Men," by John Steinbeck; and "The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn," by Mark Twain. source: American Library Association

Most of these books have one topic in common - sex! Horrors!

In the guise of protecting their children from the dirt and filth of sex people always put any book with sex in it at the top of their lists. I have news for them. From working with kids for many years, they, the kids, know a hell of a lot about sex. Sadly, not all of what they know is correct. Since their parents don't want them to read about it and fight to limit instruction of sex in schools, the kids often don't have correct information in such areas as pregnancy prevention, HIV, safe sex, sexual health, etc.

So, choose one, hopefully more, of the books on the list and get hooked on banned books this week. They are all wonderful.

My personal recommendation is to start with And Tango Makes Three. It is written for pre-school - Grade 3, but everyone enjoys it. [Well, almost everyone.] It is absolutely charming. Little kids love it and they make absolutely no judgment about what's in it. AND, it is a true story.

Having trouble deciding who to vote for in 2008?

Try this neat little poll/quiz from WQAD in Moline, IL.

Select a Candidate 2008

My top three, in this order, were Dodd, Clinton, & Edwards. Dodd would not necessarily be in my personal top three. I would have Kucinich in place of him after hearing all the Democratic candidates in person a couple of times, but not in the same order. I'm still not ready to come forward with my top preference just yet. There are still a couple of issues that need to be clarified.

Of course, all of the Republicans were at the bottom of my list - Duncan Hunter (who in the hell is he?), Tancredo, & Thompson being the very bottom. (I hope Thompson can get his day job back. I liked him in Law and Order.)

The only thing I can say, even living in Illinois, is Obama would be at the bottom of my list. My reasoning? He is not the change person he is trying to portray himself. He is a mollifier and pacifier. I don't foresee him taking stands and reversing some of the disastrous things that the Bush/Cheney regime have put into place. All of my friends were initially supporting Obama, but through dialogue, they've almost all changed their minds.

shift happens...

this is absolutely, positively mind-boggling and beyond descriptions using words...


i was in a room full of 8th grade teachers when i saw it the first time. you could hear a pin drop - and the floor was carpeted!

amazing, thought provoking piece of work. pass it on if you can. everyone should see this...

weekender bonus...

Do you know what 6th graders get for Christmas?

hormones!

god, i can't tell you how true that is. i taught 6th grade more than any other grade. i left screaming and begging to let me teach younger kids. my own puberty was bad enough. going through it again and again with all those 6th graders? i give credit to those teachers who can stick with them.

i hate 6th grade girls and i'm not alone with that. i've heard it from many, many teachers and administrators over the years. luckily, over the 2 months of summer vacation they come back to 7th grade and you have to ask, "Who are these kids. I've never seen them before!" they are completely different!

go figure...

weekender...

Father Plankis taught us religion when I was in 7th & 8th grade. I think I mentioned him before because he taught us the 11th Commandment: "Thou shalt not park in Father Plankis' parking space." He never told us if it was a mortal or venial sin though. [those of you who are/were catholic will understand the importance of the difference between the two. For those of you who weren't, the best way to describe them is "degrees of sin." Mortal being the ones that send you to hell.]

well, i ran across these answers from a religion test and wondered if Father Plankis ever got answers like these from us.

1. IN THE FIRST BOOK OF THE BIBLE, GUINESSIS. GOD GOT TIRED OF CREATING THE WORLD SO HE TOOK THE SABBATH OFF

2. ADAM AND EVE WERE CREATED FROM AN APPLE TREE. NOAH'S WIFE WAS JOAN OF ARK. NOAH BUILT AN ARK AND THE ANIMALS CAME ON IN PEARS.

3. LOTS WIFE WAS A PILLAR OF SALT DURING THE DAY, BUT A BALL OF FIRE DURING THE NIGHT.

4. THE JEWS WERE A PROUD PEOPLE AND THROUGHOUT HISTORY THEY HAD TROUBLE WITH UNSYMPATHETIC GENITALS.

5. SAMPSON WAS A STRONGMAN WHO LET HIMSELF BE LED ASTRAY BY A JEZEBEL LIKE DELILAH.

6. SAMSON SLAYED THE PHILISTINES WITH THE AXE OF THE APOSTLES.

7. MOSES LED THE JEWS TO THE RED SEA ! WHERE THEY MADE UNLEAVENED BREAD WHICH IS BREAD WITHOUT ANY INGREDIENTS.

8, THE EGYPTIANS WERE ALL DROWNED IN THE DESSERT. AFTERWARDS, MOSES WENT UP TO MOUNT CYANIDE TO GET THE TEN COMMANDMENTS.

9. THE FIRST COMMANDMENTS WAS WHEN EVE TOLD ADAM TO EAT THE APPLE.

10. THE SEVENTH COMMANDMENT IS THOU SHALT NOT ADMIT ADULTERY.

11. MOSES DIED BEFORE HE EVER REACHED CANADA . THEN JOSHUA LED THE HEBREWS IN THE BATTLE OF GERITOL.

12. THE GREATEST MIRICLE IN THE BIBLE IS WHEN JOSHUA TOLD HIS SON TO STAND STILL AND HE OBEYED HIM.

13. DAVID WAS A HEBREW KING WHO WAS SKILLED AT PLAYING THE LIAR. HE FOUGHT THE FINKELSTEINS, A RACE OF PEOPLE WHO LIVED IN BIBLICAL TIMES.

14. SOLOMON, ONE OF DAVIDS SONS, HAD 300 WIVES AND 700 PORCUPINES.

15. WHEN MARY HEARD SHE WAS THE MOTHER OF JESUS, SHE SANG THE MAGNA CARTA.

16. WHEN THE THREE WISE GUYS FROM THE EAST SIDE ARRIVED THEY FOUND JESUS IN THE MANAGER.

17.. JESUS WAS BORN BECAUSE MARY HAD AN IMMACULATE CONTRAPTION.

18. ST. JOHN THE BLACKSMITH DUMPED WATER ON HIS HEAD.

19. JESUS ENUNCIATED THE GOLDEN RULE, WHICH SAYS TO DO UNTO OTHERS BEFORE THEY DO ONE TO YOU. HE ALSO EXPLAINED A MAN DOTH NOT LIVE BY SWEAT ALONE.

20. IT WAS A MIRICLE WHEN JESUS ROSE FROM THE DEAD AND MANAGED TO GET THE TOMBSTONE OFF THE ENTRANCE.

21. THE PEOPLE WHO FOLLOWED THE LORD WERE CALLED THE 12 DECIBELS.

22. THE EPISTELS WERE THE WIVES OF THE APOSTLES.

23. ONE OF THE OPPOSSUMS WAS ST. MATTHEW WHO WAS ALSO A TAXIMAN.

24. ST. PAUL CAVORTED TO CHRISTIANITY, HE PREACHED HOLY ACRIMONY WHICH IS ANOTHER NAME FOR MARRAIGE.

25. CHRISTIANS HAVE ONLY ONE SPOUSE. THIS IS CALLED MONOTONY.

don't you just hate when unsympathetic genitals have problems because of immaculate contraptions - not to mention when they get mixed up with the 700 porcupines? drives me nuts...

does anyone remember the tune to the Magna Carta? I'm sure the nuns taught us, but for the life of me i can't remember it. of course, just saying the word Kumbaya will put the tune incessantly in your head for the next 72 hours. it's the curse of the koinyaoinya...

ENDA [Matthew Shepard Act] passes in the Senate...

the vote: 60 - Yeas; 39 - Nays; 1 - Not Voting (McCain)

ALL 39 Nays were Republicans. Courageous Republicans voting Yea: Coleman (R-MN), Collins (R-ME); Gregg (R-NH); Lugar (R-IN); Smith (R-OR); Snowe (R-ME); Specter (R-PA); Voinovich (R-OH); Warner (R-VA); voting with them Sanders (I-VT) as did Senator Lieberman (ID-CT)! [I wonder if the sky is going to fall?]

Of course, the Christianist right-wingnut authoritarians are having a fit and will now go into fanatic mode and redouble their efforts. The bill now goes to a Joint Committee with the House, and Tsar George W. has already said he'd veto it.

Authoritarians must have a boogey man. LGBT has been it for the last several years since their are no commie pinkos any more. Don't forget, same-sex marriage is going to destroy the institution of marriage.

Never you mind that the latest statistics show that 60% of marriages do not make it to the ten-year anniversary!

I think it is fairly obvious that straight marriage doesn't need any help in destroying itself. The breeders are doing an excellent job all on their own.

now, exactly how is it that you spell h-y-p-o-c-r-i-s-y?

just asking...

pulling the rabbit out of the hat...

What will the Republicans do over the next 12 months to keep one of them in the White House?

Right now, there is an overwhelming current of gossip, punditry, and speculation that the Democrats have it hands down.

Now, you know as well as I that the Republicans are not going to let that happen. So what exactly do you think the rabbit is going to be that they'll pull out of their proverbial magical hat?

I know what I think it will be -

Osama bin Laden's head on the platter that was used by Salome for John the Baptist's head...

sorry, i am a complete cynic and always have been...

"iranity" insanity...

How in the hell did Al Gore pick this man as his running mate in 2000? It is beyond the pale.

Lieberman (I-MA) and Kyl (R-AZ) have proposed an amendment to the FY 2008 Defense Authorization bill that the czar and his Rasputin (Bush/Cheney administration) could put a case forward that they have the authority from Congress to go to was with Iran. [Politics Plus] Here are the two important parts of the amendment:

    (3) that it should be the policy of the United States to combat, contain, and roll back the violent activities and destabilizing influence inside Iraq of the Government of the Islamic Republic of Iran, its foreign facilitators such as Lebanese Hezbollah, and its indigenous Iraqi proxies;
   
(4) to support the prudent and calibrated use of all instruments of United States national power in Iraq, including diplomatic, economic, intelligence, and military instruments, in support of the policy described in paragraph (3) with respect to the Government of the Islamic Republic of Iran and its proxies;

I have no real comment on this. It speaks for itself in very clear terms. They want war with Iran. They are not going to stop until they have taken the ultimate step of putting the U.S. in the position of not standing by its historical values - diplomacy, cooperation and collaboration - rather than first strike as Bush/Cheney did in Iraq.

Of course, they'll cry that progressives and the Democrats are anti-American, pro-terrorism, un-supportive of the troops, and all the rest of their bullshit.

miles to go...

problem is, all i ever want to do is be in Paris...

Whose woods these are I think I know.
His house is in the village, though;
He will not see me stopping here
To watch his woods fill up with snow.

My little horse must think it queer
To stop without a farmhouse near
Between the woods and frozen lake
The darkest evening of the year.

He gives his harness bells a shake
To ask if there's some mistake.
The only other sound's the sweep
Of easy wind and downy flake.

The woods are lovely, dark and deep,
But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep,
And miles to go before I sleep.

"Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening" by Carl Sandburg

weekender...

(VERY GOOD ADVICE HERE…)

How To Avoid The Flu Shot

Eat right!

Make sure you get your daily dose of fruits and veggies.


Take your vitamins and bump up your vitamin C.


Get plenty of exercise because exercise helps build your immune system.


Walk for at least an hour a day, go for a swim, take the stairs in stead of the elevator, etc.


Wash your hands often. If you can't wash them, keep a bottle of antibacterial stuff around.


Get lots of fresh air. Open doors & windows whenever possible.


Try to eliminate as much stress from your life as you can.



Get plenty of rest.

OR

Take the doctor's approach.

Think about it...
When you go for a shot, what do they do first?
They Clean your arm with alcohol...
Why?
Because Alcohol KILLS GERMS.
So.......

I walk to the liquor store... (exercise)
I put lime in my Corona... (fruit)
Celery in my Bloody Mary (veggies)
Drink outdoors on the bar patio... (fresh air)
Tell jokes, laugh... (eliminate stress)
Then pass out... (rest)

The way I see it...

If you keep your alcohol levels up, flu germs can't get you!

My grandmother always said, "A shot in the glass is better than one in the ass!"

and, in my opinion, gin with blue cheese stuffed olives is even better for you...

"What a fucking disgrace..."

...this man [Bush] and his journalistic lackeys are.

Excuse my language. But I can't take this any longer. We're at war; and he's still playing Rove's game.

Andrew Sullivan, The War Council, September 19, 2007

Yeah, there's a lot of us who have been saying this for a long, long time. Andrew has been slowly coming around to this view, actually much quicker for the last year or so, and his anger is coming out. Good for him.

My anger has been around for a long time. I've said in previous posts that I can't take it any longer. It's one of the reasons I really haven't been posting serious topics for a while unless they strike me as totally off the wall. I've only been doing jokes and ridiculous things that people do.

Today, the Busheviks made the Republican Senators toe the line by 1) using the filibuster threat against the bill reinstating habeaus corpus and 2) Senator Webb's bill that would have had the troops spend as much time at home as their last rotation to Iraq. I mean, these authoritarians are caving into the social dominators, Bush/Cheney, every time. What are they afraid of? Loosing Congress? They have already. Loosing the White House? It's almost a forgone conclusion. It's almost a given that in 2008 they're going to loose even more.

You know..., what's more important about these two votes, and the way they happened, has more to do with the process of government, democracy to be specific, than the outcomes. It smacks of dystopian autocratics - Mssrs. Bush and Cheney über alles.

The majority of the American people in poll after poll and in the November 2006 election let their wishes be known. The authoritarian Republicans have allowed the Bush/Cheney administration to say, "The American people don't know what's best for them. We do." That's a fascist plutocratic form of governing. It's not a democracy.

The republican process of our democratic government is not functioning. Instead of the long held fear of the majority over a minority [remember Majority rule and minority rights] we have minority rule and majority rights festered with minority tyranny.

People are blaming the Democrats for not making good on the promises they made. They can't make good on them. They are being blocked at every turn. Bush/Cheney have something to keep their minions in line. Some say it's the fear tactic. "The terrorists are going to come and get us. America has never lost a war. We have to support the troops. We can't let the rest of the world down." I think that's bullshit.

I think it is the pull of power. What's the old saying? "Absolute power corrupts absolutely!" We sure have seen the proof of that for the last seven years. Bush/Cheney grab more and more power and believe it is their right.

So, Andrew, keep getting fucking disgusted. A lot of us are. The one thing that the history of this country has shown is that when the American people get fucking mad, they always make the right decisions and moves and that began with the Revolutionary War.

The Busheviks are good at reminding everyone what they say the founding fathers had in mind and quoting them chapter and verse as their proof. What they keep forgetting is Washington, Franklin, Adams, Madison, Jefferson etal got fucking mad and overthrew a legitimate government on this continent. That wasn't a conservative move. It was fucking radical.



Jeebus, Andrew certainly got my dander up. thanks, Andrew...

monday morning mayhem...

1. we're f***ed

What if god is a woman? That means not only am I going to hell, but I won't even know why!

i don't mean to be sexist, but i've often thought, if there is a god, there would be a 50/50 chance she would be female. i also tend to like the idea of god as female. of course, if it were true, we'd all be wearing clean underwear all the time. you know..., in case we were in an accident...

2. you don't have to have old-timers for this...

A man approached a very beautiful woman in Wal-Mart and said, "I've lost my wife here at Wal-Mart. Can you talk to me for a couple of minutes?"

The woman looked puzzled. "Why talk to me?" she asked.

"Because every time I talk to a woman with tits like yours, my wife appears out of nowhere."

3. retirement planning...

If you had purchased $1,000.00 of Nortel stock one year ago, it would now be worth $49.00.

With Enron, you would have had! $16.50 left of the original $1,000.00.

With WorldCom, you would have had less than $5.00 left.

If you had purchased $1,000.00 of Delta Air Lines stock you would have $49.00 left

But, if you had purchased $1,000.00 worth of beer one year ago, drank all the beer, then turned in the cans for the aluminum recycling REFUND, You would have had $214.00.

Based on the above, the best current investment advice is to drink heavily and recycle.

It's called the 401-Keg Plan

.
wouldn't have done me any good. i don't like beer. now, gin on the other hand... [when asked once how i like my gin, my response was "by the glass."]

4. finally, an auto alarm that might work...

Patreaus compared to Patrick Fitzgerald...

Andrew Sullivan in his post MoveOn and Coulter today has this one wrong:

Petraeus and Patrick Fitzgerald are examples of public servants in intense political squalls who managed to keep their heads and their integrity intact.

Patreaus and integrity? What about this from his immediate superior Admiral William Fallon, chief of the Central Command:

Adm. Fallon, according to Pentagon sources, used salty language during their first meeting in Baghdad in March to assess his junior officer. He reportedly told Gen. Petraeus that he considered the general to be backside-kissing chicken manure.

The word that most people are using for describing Admiral Fallon's remark to General Patreaus? Can you say sycophant? [I like one of sycophant's synonyms better - fawning parasite! How fun.]

Of course, the general has also made some statements that help one to believe his self-serving intentions. From The Independent:

President Petraeus? Iraqi official recalls the day US general revealed ambition

"I asked him if he was planning to run in 2008 and he said, 'No, that would be too soon'," Mr [Sabah] Khadim, who now lives in London, said.

Patrick Fitzgerald, on the other hand, has made no such declarations to the best of my recollection and search of the Internet. Here in Chicago he has been the scurge of political misdoings and the history of the Plame case shows his resoluteness. I'm sure that if he could have proven the power(s) behind the incident, he would have done it in a heartbeat.

President Patreaus? If his take on the surge is an indication and the reaction of the American people is a marker, he'll have a long way to go before he can announce a candidacy.

however, stranger things have happened. let's not forget December 11, 2000...

The Osama Collection...

Check out Mark Fiore's take on the new Osama Collection of grooming products. It will do wonders for your surge... ummm, urge... ummm, whatever...

The Osama Collection

explains a lot about Dubya"s speech last night...

weekender...

I always watched the Lone Ranger along with Gene Autry and Roy Rogers and My Friend Flicka.

[hmmm? that's an awful lot of cowboy stuff. i don't remember being cowboy. My favorite was the old Flash Gordon series.]

The Lone Ranger and Tonto

The Lone Ranger and Tonto went camping in the desert. After they got their tent all set up, both men fell sound asleep. Some hours later, Tonto wakes the Lone Ranger and says, "Kemosabe, look toward sky, what you see? "

"The Lone Ranger replies, "I see millions of stars."

"What that tell you?" asked Tonto.

The Lone Ranger ponders for a minute then says, "Astronomically speaking, it tells me there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, it tells me that Saturn is in Leo. Time wise, it appears to be approximately a quarter past three in the morning. Theologically, the Lord is all-powerful and we are small and insignificant. Meteorologically, it seems we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. What's it tell you, Tonto?"

"Kemosabe, you dumber than buffalo shit. It mean someone stole tent. "

tarot cards...

I haven't done one of these things in a long time -

What Tarot Card Are You?

You are The Emperor

Stability, power, protection, realization; a great person.

The Emperor is the great authority figure of the Tarot, so it represents
fathers, father-figures and employers. There is a lot of aggression and violence
too.

The Emperor naturally follows the Empress. Like an infant, he is filled with enthuiasm, energy, aggression. He is direct, guileless and all too often irresistible. Unfortunately, like a baby he can also be a tyrant. Impatient, demanding, controlling. In the best of circumstances, he signifies the leader that everyone wants to follow, sitting on a throne that indicates the solid foundation of an Empire he created, loves and rules with intelligence and enthusiasm. But that throne can also be a trap, a responsibility that has the Emperor feeling restless, bored and discontent.

What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.

no... i'm not going to make any comments on the above results i got. the emperor is also an enigma...

thanks to Jamie over at I Must Be Dreaming for the heads-up on this one.

continued "war" power for the Czar...

It's really interesting reading the White House website. You can find all kinds of amazing information. Like this announcement in its entirety:

Notice: Continuation of the National Emergency with Respect to Certain Terrorist Attacks


White House News

Consistent with section 202(d) of the National Emergencies Act (50 U.S.C. 1622(d)), I am continuing for 1 year the national emergency I declared on September 14, 2001, in Proclamation 7463, with respect to the terrorist attacks at the World Trade Center, New York, New York, the Pentagon, and aboard United Airlines flight 93, and the continuing and immediate threat of further attacks on the United States.

Because the terrorist threat continues, the national emergency declared on September 14, 2001, last extended on September 5, 2006, and the powers and authorities adopted to deal with that emergency, must continue in effect beyond September 14, 2007. Therefore, I am continuing in effect for an additional year the national emergency I declared on September 14, 2001, with respect to the terrorist threat.

This notice shall be published in the Federal Register and transmitted to the Congress.

GEORGE W. BUSH

# # #

got that? George W says he is continuing the "War on Terrorism." He is just notifying us of it or rather the Congress.

he can keep this going indefinitely as long as he's president.

oh, and here's another thought. he can include any action taken by any state, legitimate or other wise, in monitoring and stopping their "terrorist" activities as he determines...

can you spell I*R*A*N?

or "Eyeran" as george would say...

monday morning mayhem...

1. Wal-mart vintages

Walmart announced that, on January 1, 2008, it will begin offering customers a new discount item - Walmart's own brand of wine.

Wine connoisseurs may not be inclined to throw a bottle of Walmart brand into their shopping carts, but "there is a market for inexpensive wine, however the right name is important.

Customer surveys were conducted to determine the most attractive name for the Walmart wine brand. The top surveyed names in order of popularity were:


10. Chateau Traileur Parc

9. White Trashfindel

8. Big Red Gulp

7. World Championship Riesling

6. NASCARbernet

5. Chef Boyardeaux

4. Peanut Noir

3. I Can't Believe it's not Vinegar

2. Grape Expectations

1. Nasti Spumante

The beauty of Walmart wine is that it can be served with either white meat (Possum) or red meat (Squirrel).

2. WHO invented sports?

Gay people invented sports. Think about it. Boxing: two topless men... in silk shorts... fighting over a belt.

-- Ant

3. questions for Pat Robertson...

• Leviticus 25:44 states that I may possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can't I own Canadians?

• I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?

• I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanness - Lev. 15: 19-24. The problem is how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.

• When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord - Lev. 1:9. The problem is, my neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?

• I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself, or should I ask the police to do it?

• A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an abomination - Lev. 11:10, it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don't agree. Can you settle this? Are there 'degrees' of abomination?

• Lev. 21:20 states that I may ! not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle- room here?

• Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev. 19:27. How should they die?

• I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?

• My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev. 19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? Lev. 24:10-16. Couldn't we just burn them to death at a private family affair, like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14)

It is tantamount for salvation, consequently, clarification would be greatly appreciated. 

spray on condom...

NO, this isn't a joke! A German company has invented and placed a spray-on condom on the market. Honest.




I have not been able to find any websites in English, but if you read French you can find it here: Le préservatif en spray... or do a google and translate the entry. Here's the google.com page to get you started - un préservatif en spray

préservatif is the French word for condom.

In a nutshell [pun intended], during the heat of sex [le feu du sex] the man inserts his erect winkie into the, uh, canister, presses a button and the spray within seconds forms a condom, that is incredibly thin, around le sexe. [That's French for winkie.] There is no problem with finding the right size and younger men who have not, uh, reached their full potential don't have to worry and those who have, uh, how shall I say this... those who have the envy of size queens don't have to worry about being restricted. [Reminds me of the old joke, "If there's two things I can't stand it's size queens and small c***s."]

Ummmm, it costs about €25 ($34.45) and will last about 2 years. At the end of the two years you buy a refill bottle of the latex and, well, you know the rest. Kind of like buying soap refills. The French Ministry of Health still hasn't given its final approval saying that there are still some questions it has. I bet...

there are sooooo many different comments i could make about this that i'm having a really hard time [pun not intended.]

oh, one of the selling points is that there can be no rip in the condom from being overanxious when removing the foil as in normal condoms. or for that matter, no wearing out from years of storage in a wallet or drying up because it's too old or... Oh hell, there goes all the fun of teen sex...

one problem i can see is that it won't fit in your pocket and if you do you could get arrested for lewdness.
i wonder if this will have any effect on "Not tonight. I have a headache."?

does anyone know...

is their anything in the Qu'ran or from Imams that it is not okay for Muslim men, or women, to dye their beards or hair? It would logically seem with all of the other religious restrictions this would be the case. I mean, he believes along with the Taliban that men must have beards.



If so, does it mean that O.B. Laden gets no virgins or can enter the garden?

I don't think he did it so he couldn't be identified going through the TSA metal detectors...

or maybe he's adding a wife to his harem...

i wonder if he uses L'Oreal or Clairol or Grecian Formula 5...?

Craig's children support and defend him...

uh-huh.

Children do that, but, both is stepson and stepdaughter are not the best people to come to any kind of character defense.

From ABC News

Craig Family Values: Arrests, Warrants and Restraining Orders

moneyquote -

But the criminal records of Michael Craig and his sister, whom Sen. Craig adopted after marrying their mother, Suzanne, in 1983, not only call into question their credibility as character witnesses but may even further undermine Craig's portrayal of himself as a defender of family values.

At least two women have sought restraining orders against Michael Craig, who was once charged with statutory rape, though the charge was dismissed. He did not return a call for comment. And at the time of Howell's appearance on "Good Morning America" there was a warrant out for her arrest resulting from her allegedly breaking into her estranged husband's home and destroying property.

Of course the Sen. Craig and his wife have their response [you can find it in the article at the ABC link above] and it sounds considerably like a line from the play/movie The Lion in Winter

Eleanor of Aquitane: Well, what family doesn't have its ups and downs?

this is a real trailer-trash soap opera. if you agree, tap your foot three time...





and that reminds me of a great line by Alonzo Bodden

I didn't understand NASCAR until I met some NASCAR fans. You talk to a couple of NASCAR fans and you'll see where a shiny car driving in a circle would fascinate them all day. I can make fun of NASCAR fans because if they chase me, I just turn right.

jury duty...

at least for the day, so I'll be scarce. Criminal court, so chances are I'llbe empanelled.

Comment: one good thing could happen with the Craig situation...

at least we can hope.

Sen. Craig is getting a taste of what we all have to go through, of what people think we are, of what people say and do to us because of who we are, and of how we are kept as second-class citizens being denied all the same rights of everyone else. The least response of all these beliefs is the fact that we are proven guilty before we are even accused.

Whether Sen. Craig is gay or not, as I have said in previous post, is no of concern to me. Personally, I don't think that he is gay. To be gay one has to embrace the LGBT community and all it is. Freely choose. Obviously, he does not choose.

LGBT is often referred to as the third sex. From things I've been reading lately and thinking myself, maybe there is a fourth sex - those either male or female who participate in same-sex actions just for its own sake and pleasure without identifying as anything. After all, from what has been reported lately, the majority of the men arrested and charged in the kind of escapade of which Sen. Craig is accused, are usually married with families.

Some LGBT activitists say that these men are merely denying that they are gay. They are conflicted. They are afraid. Maybe some are. What if, I say if, they do not see themselves as gay? Couldn't it be that they are only sexual and indiscriminate? They have sex with whomever is available just to have sex. It's possible.

Yes, they lead a lonely life when it comes to this aspect of it. They chose it. They live in constant fear of being discovered while engaging in public sex because it adds to the thrill along with the possibility of getting caught. Who knows.

I believe that people, like Sen. Craig, lend an evil and disparaging picture on those of us who embrace the LGBT moniker and are proud of it. They are not worth my time and, if the main stream media and right wingnuts want to waste their own energies in pointing loudly at them, let them. We will prevail because of our strength and courage.

I am proud that the majority of LGBT media and blogs have actually supported Sen. Craig this past couple of weeks. It would be hypocritical on our part if we were to attack him for who/what he is - gay or not. Just as the Christianists say, "Hate the sin, love the sinner," we should hate the despicable stands that men and women like Craig take to discriminate openly against others, but we must defend them for being who/what they are. Whatever that is.

The good thing that could happen with the Craig incident? I hope that Sen. Craig may understand how we actually have to go through the things we do and to change both his opinions and his actions because of it. He may begin to show some small glimmer of sympathy, to understand that we are not monsters as the wingnuts preach, to realize that we are some one's sons and daughters, and to stand and protect the rights of all citizens of the the United States no matter who they are, what they believe or what they do.

I said hope.

I believe in the Hopi adage that, "When hope is gone, life is over."

I refuse to give up hope...

just as it depended on what the meaning of "is" is...

to Sen. Craig it seems his resignation depends on what the intent of "intent" is...

Craig's phone message:

"Yes, Billy, this is Larry Craig calling, you can reach me on my cell. Arlen Specter is now willing to come out in my defense arguing that all he know that I've been railroaded and all that. Having all that we've reshaped my statement to say it is my intent [emphasis added as per voice inflection] to resign on September 30. I think it is very important for you to make as bold a statement as you are comfortable with this afternoon. I hope you could make it in front of the cameras. I think it would ride the story that I am willing to fight that I have quality people out there fighting in my defense and that this thing could take a new turn or a new shape, it has that potential. Anyway give me a buzz, or give Mike a buzz on that, we are headed to my press conference now. Thank you, bye."

hmmmmmmm...

NBC pulls out of iTunes...

NBC pulled out of the iTunes agreement with Apple over pricing. They want more charged for their shows! So what else is new?

So today they announce an agreement with Amazon.com's Unbox service -NBC in Deal With Amazon to Sell Shows on the Web.

HELLO!

I just looked at the Amazon.com Unbox website for NBC shows. THEY'RE CHARGING $1.99!

AND... instead of the $9.99 for movies, Unbox charges $14.99! Oh, yeah, you can rent the movie for $3.99, but what are the requirements? You can only use a PC; you have to download the Unbox video player; you have 30 days to begin viewing it and once you start 24 hours before it is erased automatically. Netflix is easier. Not to mention cheaper starting at $4.99 a month and you can keep the movie as long as you want and take as long as you want to watch it.

sheesh... maybe NBC is getting a bigger cut from Amazon.com but what are consumers getting from this? the shaft...

Breaking: Sen. Craig may not resign...

just reported on Countdown with Keith Olbermann and from an ABC affiliate.

just like an old queen. can't make up her mind...

take a guess...

go on...

try and guess what the reasoning is behind this and how it is done.

hint: it's in Japan...

monday morning mayhem...

on Tuesday...

two reasons - the Labor Day Weekend and I've been in bed for the last two days with the norovirus. not fun... I'd rather have food poisoning! though there is not much different except that the norovirus is much more violent. so I need some humor myself...

1. sven and ollie...

Ollie and Sven went for a ride one night with two beautiful young ladies.

An hour later as Ollie and Sven were trudging back to town on foot, Ollie remarked, "Next time ve tell some girls to "cooperate" or get out and valk... ve better make sure ve got our own car."

that can be a problem...

2. Final Exam

for those back in college this term...

At Penn State University, there were four sophomores taking chemistry and all of them had an "A" so far. These four friends were so confident that, the weekend before finals, they decided to visit some friends and have a big party. They had a great time but, after all the hearty partying, they didn't make it back to Penn State until early Monday morning. Rather than taking the final then, they decided that after the final they would explain to their professor why they missed it. They said that they visited friends but on the way back they had a flat tire.

As a result, they missed the final. The professor agreed they could make up the final the next day. The guys were excited and relieved. They studied that night for the exam.

The Professor placed them in separate rooms and gave them a test booklet.

They quickly answered the first problem worth 5 points. Cool, they thought! Each one in separate rooms, thinking this was going to be easy.... then they turned the page.



On the second page was written.... For 95 points..... Which tire? _________

got to get your stories straight...

3. i hate needles...

A man went to the dental surgeon to have a tooth pulled. The dentist pulled out a freezing needle to numb the area.

"No Way ! No needles! I hate needles!" the patient shouted.

The dentist started to hook up the laughing gas and the man again objected.

"I can't do the gas thing! The thought of having a gas mask on is suffocating to me!"

The dentist then asked if the man had any objection to taking a pill.

"No," the patient said, "I am fine with pills."

The dentist said, "Here is a Viagra tablet."

The patient replied: "Wow! I didn't know Viagra works as a pain pill!"

"It doesn't," said the dentist, "but it will give you something to hold onto when I pull out your tooth."

4. modern words to live by...

I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.

Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them.

I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.

Don't take life too seriously; No one gets out alive.

You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me.

I'm not a complete idiot -- some parts are missing.

The gene pool could use a little chlorine.

Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.

Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?

Procrastinate Now!

A picture is worth a thousand words, but it uses up three thousand times the memory.

Ham and eggs. A day's work for a chicken, a lifetime commitment for a pig.

I smile because I don't know what the hell is going on.

and my favorite -

Be thankful we're not getting all the government we're paying for.

ain't that the truth?

craig's resignation statement...

You can read it here - New York Times, September 1, 2007.

It is a serious, thoughtful and well written statement. I have not heard a recording or seen a video of the statement yet, but I will when I get time. Consequently, I can't comment on his tone, expression, etc. right now - only on the words.

On my first reading, I had one continuous thought - "Craig didn't write this." Reading it a second time I continued to thing the same thing.

In reading and hearing other things he has said, it not only doesn't sound like his use of words, but it is very well written. Not something that I have noticed in previous things of Sen. Craig's.

I don't understand the September 30th thing. The Republican leadership and members leave themselves open for 29 days more days that could lead to even more disaster. They have been very good at this as of late.

Maybe this was a compromise with Craig to get him to resign. It may also have been an attempt at face-saving for whom I'm not sure. We'll see...

Did you ever wonder what happened to the kid in Mad Magazine?

Watch as he grows up.



I haven't seen this anywhere on the web yet but a friend of mine sent it to me.

Now, I always liked Alfred E. Newman. He always made perfectly good sense as far as I can remember. He may be upset if he ever sees this morph. It's kind of insulting and may even be libelous.

ON the other hand, I also know that he'd be ROTFLHAO...

for anyone not having fun this weekend...

A priest, a rabbi and a minister walked into a bar. The bartender said, "Is this some kind of joke?"

I have been chuckling for over an hour since I read this. It is tje funniest non-joke I've ever heard!